Hello Again Part 3 More Details

[Kia1212]

Hi - Isn't Life Strange - PART 1
Met my ex-husband in 1971 and I was 14, he was 19, and we were married in 1974 and divorced in 1999. Almost 30 years with this severe narcissistic psychopathic alcoholic ex-husband. My ex was abusive the whole time, but I could never figure it out. He would tell me he adored me, my soul mate, jewelry, gifts, etc., and then turn around and be abusive. I have never shut up ever defending myself my whole life. Which is why I think I developed complex PTSD. I have always defended myself all this time, to no avail. Feel like I've been in World War III. My mother and five siblings were in my life 24/7 literally. I thought that was normal. My ex would argue with me about my mom & siblings coming over all the time and I defended her, ironically. When I confronted my mom in 1996-97 or so I demanded an apology and she laughed in my face, I did you a favor, how dare you. She said no one likes you, not even your kids don't like you. This was after they were in my house 24/7, using my pool, eating my food, etc. My diabolical ex-husband encouraged my family to demean, humilate, denigrate, shame and gaslight me. Especially after I gained weight with my second child and was reminded of it every single day. I felt like I was like in Rosemary's Baby, as I was pregnant with my 3rd child, my daughter. The whole experience truly felt evil. My mother told me I thought I was you, *, talk about enmeshment.

Hi - Isn't Life Strange - PART 2
 But having my daughter made me realize I am not staying with this ahole any longer. Especially, when my daughter was 5 months old sleeping in the crib, & my two sons, ages 11 & 15 were upstairs too. My ex insisted that I had to leave my house, because he said I was acting and looking crazy. He called my sister-in-law to tell her to pick me up. I said no, I will not leave and I punched him in the nose. He called the police on me for DV and I even said to the cops, this is the happiest day of my life I finally woke up to what I was dealing with. Not one member of my family inquired about me at this time, they scurried away like cockroaches. During this whole time my ex was telling me to KM every day, I just recently recalled. Weirdly, I suppressed it until just recently, because it was so horrible. I feel that my family heard this too.
Not one of my abusers would ever acknowledge or admit any abuse, ever. It has been years of still defending myself and speaking up about the abuses, to no avail. I waited until my mother died in 2018, as she would say, oh my god, not again, what is wrong with you? Never in my life could I treat my child in this sadistic, cruel manner. In September 2024 I told my sister that for the sake of my mental health, I am going no contact and seeking therapy. I needed to be validated. She begged me not to go to therapy, and she said she would be my therapist, I laughed, she is the most narcissistic person I know. I am 68 years old and won't feel comfortable around them again, no matter what. I see them exactly for what they are, abusive and sadistic.

Hi - Isn't Life Strange - PART 3
I am sorry that I allowed my kids to grow up around them, my kids are all depressed adults. My ex and my family told my boys constantly that I was out of my mind, and delusional. They also told my daughter that I had a nervous breakdown and postpartum depression, but none of it was true. Not one person in my family has ever talked or seen a therapist or counselor. I went 1 time and they told me you are being scapegoated from a very sick family. I am presently doing therapy today, which does help. I love that I am being acknowledged. Family sucks in my opinion. In 2022 I developed extreme chronic depression, fatigue lethargy and dizziness, body aches, and a host of other symptoms. The depression has been there for many years but I did not want to give my ex or family more fuel to use against me. I had everything checked out, my heart was good, and my pressure was high, but I am 67 years years old. I do have emphysema after smoking for many years. But my therapist said I have complex PTSD.

[Skyward]

Hi Kia,

I hope that you are able to find a peaceful place here where you can begin to process your trauma and move into being your real self. x