my form of dissociation

[Barney]

Here's my question...my form of dissociation:
Hundreds of times a day (not exaggerating) I can be in the middle of a conversation, or driving, or watching tv...etc. and my consciousness will "split" . If we're having a conversation, I break eye contact, and when I "come back" if I notice that your facial expression hasn't changed, my mind will bridge the gap, and fill in what I believe happened...I'm almost always able to keep the conversation going (I own a tourist store in La Conner) it sucks watching TV, because on the episode recap, it never seems to be what I remember...it's not "just daydreaming"...also, I've recently learned how to dissociate in cases of extreme dysregulation, to not "lose it" with the person that inadvertently triggered me, so, as I feel the dysregulation coming on, I "split" and keep a calm self carrying on the conversation, while my other self slows my breathing down to, hopefully, 6 breaths per minute and concentrate on slowing/stopping the "hamster wheel" in my gut...
The dissociation isn't negatively impacting my life, in so much as I've been able to adapt to it, but we were wondering if you had any insight...when I "split" my therapist says my vision goes up and to the right...which is supposed to be a sign of hyper focus...
Anybody else experience this in this way

[dreamriver]

Here's my question...my form of dissociation:
Hundreds of times a day (not exaggerating) I can be in the middle of a conversation, or driving, or watching tv...etc. and my consciousness will "split" . If we're having a conversation, I break eye contact, and when I "come back" if I notice that your facial expression hasn't changed, my mind will bridge the gap, and fill in what I believe happened...I'm almost always able to keep the conversation going (I own a tourist store in La Conner) it sucks watching TV, because on the episode recap, it never seems to be what I remember...it's not "just daydreaming"...also, I've recently learned how to dissociate in cases of extreme dysregulation, to not "lose it" with the person that inadvertently triggered me, so, as I feel the dysregulation coming on, I "split" and keep a calm self carrying on the conversation, while my other self slows my breathing down to, hopefully, 6 breaths per minute and concentrate on slowing/stopping the "hamster wheel" in my gut...
The dissociation isn't negatively impacting my life, in so much as I've been able to adapt to it, but we were wondering if you had any insight...when I "split" my therapist says my vision goes up and to the right...which is supposed to be a sign of hyper focus...
Anybody else experience this in this way

Barney, this sounds very familiar to me! I think I dissociate more than I realize, I might have been doing it my whole life. I would love to hear more, I have very little awareness of it. It's hard to tell if I'm inattentive or dissociative, or have APD (Audio Processing Disorder), it just sometimes feel like there's too much coming at me and I have to split to make sense of it. Looking up and to my right....I do that. I tend to break contact and "look away" to absorb what's being said and formulate my thoughts.

And yes, if people trigger me in a more confrontational way, it is kind of like I'm distancing from myself and even scrambling to think/feel straight.

I almost wish I could hear more from your therapist, that's just very interesting.