Newly Diagnosed- I have a thing

[JaneDoe]

Hello All,

I'm new(ish) here.  I've been bobbing along on this website for 2 weeks.  That's when I was diagnosed.  Of course I went straight home from my therapy appointment and got on Dr. Google. I went into a hole for 4 days.  I was severely detached.  I bawled my eyes out.  Stayed on the couch with my dogs and everything I could possibly need surrounding me.  It was really the first time I had read symptoms, and seen my life in the descriptions.  It was the first time I realized I had a thing.  That this beast was a real thing. 

On day four, my best friend broke me out of the hole. 

It all makes sense now. 

The most difficult thing I hope is over.  And that is being properly diagnosed, so that I can work on it..  After my time in the hole, I just want out.  I have to learn and research, and remove this junk that has rendered me lifeless...and wantless...

I am so grateful for whomever started this page.  Its so nice to know that I'm not alone.

[Blueberry]

Welcome here! 

I haven't been here long yet myself but I felt the support right after my first post. I hope you get a lot of support and information here too. I'm sure you'll find that at least one person on here, but probably more, will understand you, whatever you write.

I'm glad you have a best friend in real life too, that can help so much in different ways to on here.

[writetolife]

Hi janeDoe,

Welcome! 

I'm not exactly sure what to say, but I wanted to recognize your pain.  It is sooo valid.  This is big, hard to deal with news.  People say, "oh, it's just a label," and that's kind of true.  But at the same time, it's something bigger than that.  It's also being forced to face head on that you have big challenges and big injuries.  You can't hide from them, if you once did.   

Since my diagnosis, I've found that most major realizations have been accompanied by a similar period of adjustment, a period that has left me barely able to function as I try to get my brain around the new information.  I know that doesn't make it easier because those adjustment periods can be terrible. 

I also want to mention that the reason we are all on this forumn is to support each other.  We're here for you.  What you're experiencing isn't weird, even if it is different than the experience of the people in your non-digital life.   

[JaneDoe]

barely functioning is my baseline.  And youre right.  Big challenges.

I never knew I wanted my pain validated.  Thanks for that.

Best luck to both of you on your healing journey.

[Healing Finally]

Hi JaneDoe  - I am newish here too, and also grateful to have found this site and all the wonderful sharing and supportive people  - it sounds like you are right on track .

I know what you mean about not seeking to have the pain validated.  I couldn't even acknowledge the idea of being abused, and it's only been in the past few months that I have realized how bad it's been.  I picked up the book "Complex PTSD:  From Surviving to Thriving" by Pete Walker and there is so much in there that totally resonates with me.  I still have so much to learn.

What I LOVE about this site is how my past and present pain is validated by reading the posts of others who have gone through the same experiences as I, and I can finally say OUTLOUD: I am NOT crazy!  - I also appreciate knowing that it takes time to wade through the healing as coming out of the FOG (Fear Obligation Guilt) goes against all the cells in my body.

So glad you are sharing, and you will get through it to the other side 

[Wife#2]

Welcome, JaneDoe - first welcome. Second - love the avatar you've found!

Since you've been checking things out, you've likely stumbled on the tools. They really are helpful! Sometimes just having a name for things really does help. You can feel more in control when you know that the floaty, not real/ not all here feeling could be dissociation or derealization. And, those are REAL things that lots of people understand because we've had that feeling, too! And, all the rest of the things that go with cPTSD.

There is no 'right' way or 'right' timeline for posting, talking or sharing. Many of us (myself especially LOL) are talkers, so we post a lot. Others are absorbers, they read a lot and post some. What works for you is the best way for you to be. It really is that simple here.

This website was started by survivors of cPTSD who felt that a community could help more people heal, working together. We're not here to diagnose (though some are PhD's, therapists and/or psychiatrists). We are here as people who are going through the healing process for ourselves, some for their loved ones. We come together here and try to help each other. And we're very glad you joined us.

Yes, sometimes, having a name for 'IT' helps gain some control over 'IT'. Now, on to figure out what you want to do next :-)