COVID, Hantavirus, Family Violence, and Losing the Will to Live

[GettingThere]

During covid, I stayed with abusers because their money kept me safe and alive until the vaccine came out. Then I was sick and homeless in the shelters for over a year before I got stable housing and employment. Then I had a steady job, rescued my dog from my abusers, got free from violence, moved us somewhere safe. I worked and studied at the same time, got great grades, went back to school full time, living off small student loans. Then dog dies, 30k of debt, now hantavirus is happening.

I have nowhere to go if I get sick. I don't really have enough for rent. Lost my part time job from university budget cuts. I don't have enough money to keep me going. I have nowhere safe to go, no help if I get sick. Continuing to live seems like a dangerous liability at this point. I just wanna call it. I can't survive hantavirus with no family. I barely survived the family abuse during covid quarantine. I'm all alone. I just wanna call it.

[Alexandra]

Hello GettingThere; Good for you for getting away from your abusers , as soon as you could, that takes strength .Good for you at working so hard at your life. After Covid I can understand you are scared, however unlike Covid, hantavirus, is not, spread from human to human ,people get it from contact, with rodent droppings. I know how overwhelming anxiety feels, I have felt that way myself, I know how painful anxiety attacks feel, I empathize with you. Please,look for ways to calm yourself ,look at what you need to do for yourself, to make your life better .
"

[Hope67]

Hi GettingThere,
You have had to carry so much, and been through so much, I am really sorry for how much you've had to go through.  You've shown so much strength trying to rebuild your life through things that would have broken many people (in my opinion).  I know you're feeling overwhelmed now, but I hope you can keep safe, and maybe reach out to a crisis line or local support service, because having someone there, even briefly might take some of the weight off, and they might be able to offer you some constructive suggestions.

Sending you a hug of support 

[Kizzie]

Hey Getting There, I am so sorry you are feeling so badly at the moment. I strongly recommend you reach out to a crisis line, go to an ER or talk to your therapist ASAP if you have one.

We have a page for those in crisis here because other than being supportive we can't really provide the kind of help you need in this moment.

We are here and we support you but please reach out for help from those who are trained to deal with this.

[GettingThere]

Andes species hantavirus is spread from person to person. Kills 40% of people who develop respiraory symptoms. 40x deadlier than covid. Called a crisis line yesterday. Helped a little. Talked to a friend today. Also helped a little. Thanks for support

[Kizzie]

I think if you are frightened, you could call the Centre for Disease Control in your area and ask for information Getting There.

I did read it can be spread from person to person but the contact has to be fairly intimate (e.g., kissing). Also if you are around rodents who have the disease you can catch it from breathing in contaminated dust. 

The people who were aboard the ship where this all started are in isolation in the area where you live so I think you will be safe.   

[Blueberry]

Andes species hantavirus is spread from person to person. Kills 40% of people who develop respiraory symptoms. 40x deadlier than covid. Called a crisis line yesterday. Helped a little. Talked to a friend today. Also helped a little. Thanks for support

Good for you on taking steps daily to try and feel less anxious, like speaking to a crisis line and to a friend, and then coming on here. I'm sure if it helps, you can call a crisis line tomorrow too. I agree with Kizzie on maybe trying to call a Centre for Disease Control, because i imagine they will have the facts for your area.

You have been through huge and destabilising challenges in the last few years so I'm not surprised this feels really tough and triggering.

[Blueberry]

How's it going, GettingThere?

[GettingThere]

Hey Blueberry, thanks for checking in. I'm feeling much better than I did when I first posted that. I've moved everything I need to do this summer online until things cool down with hantavirus and ebola. I actually got some online class work done today, I'm gonna finish that up tomorrow, and I'm gonna start submitting online job applications on Monday.

I have no idea what's gonna happen next, but I have enough money saved for a couple months more rent and my landlady is a pretty forgiving and flexible lady. Hopefully it won't be a big deal if I fall a bit behind on rent, and hopefully I'll get a job sooner rather than later. I have a friend who's finishing up their master's thesis at the moment, but once they're free, I'm gonna connect with them because they helped me with applying for jobs the last time I did it.

Thanks for the support and check ins. I'm not doing great, but I'm hanging in there.

**Also, just wanted to mention as a health awareness note, the World Health Organization said that with hantavirus, close contact means within 6 feet of someone for 15 min or more within an hour long period.

[NarcKiddo]

I'm glad you are feeling better and have been able to make some adjustments so that you feel safer. Good luck with the job hunt.

[Blueberry]

Good to hear that there are some glimmers of hope for everything not to turn catastrophic, GettingThere. 

[Kizzie]

Glad to hear you doing a bit better Getting There. 

[TheBigBlue]