Hello

[rachelallyson]

I'm happy to have found this place.

The quick and dirty about me: I'm 35, I work in marketing and I'm marrying the love of my life in two weeks. Maybe the stress of the upcoming event is partly why these recent days have been so rough...

While I have been in therapy for several years and have been a member of a few support groups, I find that the one thing that can really help me break out of a particularly rough patch is the understanding of others who deal with some of the same things I deal with - so CPTSD. I had  someone tell me about a year ago (when I revealed to them that I had PTSD) that they "used to have that," and the shame that rolled over me was intense. I went to my therapist, desperate for validation, and she pulled out a book about CPTSD... it was comforting to know that my experience "justifies" the years of struggle that have come since.

So for my story - the quick version, as I fear it can be triggering to some.

I was sexually abused from the age of 8 to the age of 13 by a family friend/fellow church member. The abuse included multiple rapes starting at age nine, the introduction of other perpetrators - his friends - that he brought me to who also raped me in a group setting (being drugged/kidnapped for a short period - this is the portion of my history that I still have the hardest time articulating), and culminated with being raped by his teenage son after his son discovered what was going on.

It's been a long road, and emotional flashbacks are still very much a struggle for me. I long to be in a community where I don't have to explain what's going on or hide when I feel like I can't handle "normal life."

Be well, everyone. I look forward to getting to know you.

[woodsgnome]

Welcome! 

Speaking from the heart, as you've just demonstrated, is important here. That's the best thing about this place--it really is a safe haven where you can speak with your own voice. It's pretty rare to find freedom to really say it the way we feel it.

We might have some deep wounds. Maybe we can't cure any of what happened, but we haven't given up on the healing. Words like "get over it" are recognized here as just so much gibberish. But the healing that can come just by sharing can help one to find the next step, even through the tears of memory.

So thanks for your intro. Have a look around, in this spirit of healing, along a trail shared with those who really do "get it".

Glad you're here. 

 

[rachelallyson]

Thank you so very much for the warm welcome! It means so much!