Introduce Myself

[release_the_frontal_lobe]

Hi everyone, I've recently felt that I need more support, so I started looking for a C-PTSD community, which led me to this place, OOTS. I hope to share my story and feelings through writing, and to create connections through the community. I'm currently seeing both a psychiatrist and a therapist, and I've been diagnosed with depression, ADHD, and C-PTSD. I'd like to give a brief overview of what I've been going through lately.

To give some back ground, I am a 19-year-old woman from China who moved to Australia three years ago. I experienced years of emotional abuse, physical abuse, and neglect from my parents. My life has been unstable since childhood, whether it's where I live, my family's financial situation, or my parents' mental state. Over the years, I've also experienced school bullying as well as discrimination related to gender and race.

I suddenly lost an important friendship early in this year. Although it's been more than three months, I still find myself thinking about him and feeling extremely sad and confused almost every night. This relationship seems to have triggered much deeper emotions rooted in my childhood, which is why I finally decided to seek therapy. I'm still trying to understand what C-PTSD means for me and how much it has shaped my life. Right now, I'm hoping to learn from others who have been through similar experiences, and maybe feel a little less alone in all of this.

[SenseOrgan]

Welcome here release_the_frontal_lobe!

I'm sorry you've been through so much. That's a lot to deal with from an early age onwards. Joining this forum can be a huge factor in recovery. It is for many, myself included. In fact, it's been essential to finally find "the others" here. Not being alone with this struggle anymore is a very big deal. Even though each of our stories is unique, the core of our experience is often very similar. I hope you'll find what you're looking for here. 

[NarcKiddo]

Welcome. I am so sorry you have had such difficulties from childhood on - most of us know what that feels like in some way or another. It is a hard place that often feels lonely. So I'm glad you are reaching out for community, and I'm glad you have found a psychiatrist and a therapist.

[Kizzie]

Hi and welcome to Out of the Storm! 

There's lots of support, validation and information about CPTSD here so I hope you find it all helpful. I am so sorry you lost an important relationship, it hurts a lot I know. 

[zen_racer]

Welcome to OOTS release_the_frontal_lobe.  I hope you find what you're looking for here.  This forum has helped me very much in my short time here so far.  I think it's good that you've realized the friendship you lost triggered deeper feelings from the past.  I'm only just beginning to be able to recognize an emotional flashback in real time.  That happened for the first time for me very recently when I lost a relationship that had just started.  It triggered much deeper and older emotions for me as well, and it took me a while to realize that.  And that I needed to not respond until I could respond to the current moment instead of accidentally making someone feel responsible for pain I've carried for so long.

You're not alone here.