Overwhelmed --Trigger Warning

[Kintsugi62]

Hello, I have been searching for a support group for trauma victims/survivors and stumbled upon OOTS. I am just finishing up a court case against my birth father (lasted almost three years) who has abused many children. I am overwhelmed and a little shaken, the judge just signed the docket after 8 months of waiting. I didn't sue just for myself but for all the victims, many of which I am realated to or just simply know (neighbors, etc.) The case will now go to Washington along with two other cases to try and get the statute of limitations for chilhood assault eliminated.
I am 62 years old, I live alone and I have three children and 5 grandchildren.

[NarcKiddo]

Thank you for standing up for your young self and all the other victims.

Welcome to OOTS.

[TheBigBlue]

Welcome, kintsugi62. 

I'm really glad you found your way here, though I'm so sorry for what brought you. What you've done: staying with a case like that for years, not just for yourself but for others as well - is incredibly meaningful; but it also makes complete sense that you feel overwhelmed and shaken now that it has reached this point. That's a lot for one person to carry.

You don't have to hold it all alone here. This is a space where people understand, and you can go at your own pace, meaning share as much or as little as feels right.

And your screen name really resonates with me (if you ever feel like it, you can click on my profile image and read my personal text and you'll see why). 😊

Sending support and  (if that's ok)

[Kizzie]

Hi and and a very warm welcome to Out of the Storm Kintsugi  I am in awe that you took your F to court and admire your courage. Holding perpetrators responsible is so very important, but can be difficult when it is family. How did your F react to being sued if that's OK to ask? Also, how did you summon up the courage to sue him? Did you have any support throughout the long process? Not to worry if you don't want to answers these questions as I know you are new here and it can take time to settle in and feel safe.

[Kintsugi62]

Kizzie, forgive me as I am having a hard time learning to navigate the webpage. I will answer your questions: I had heard on the news that they had dropped the Statute of Limitations for childhood sexual assault, not once but over and over again until it was very clear to me that I needed to do this. I found some very high profile lawyers who represented me pro bono and they disliked him from the start. They never charged me a penny and when all was said and done they sued him for 4.5 mil, the judge who also could not stand the very sight of him asked the lawyers to ask for more. In the end he was found guilty and sued for 5.5 mil. He doesn't have a penny, that wasn't the point for the high dollar amount. As for F he lives 18 minutes from my front door and after the court date, harrassed me on the road when I  was walking with my 4 year old granddaughter so I  was forced to get a restraining order. It's not even over yet, whew I'm exhausted, he has 7 days to set up a payment plan or he goes to court again (not me) and the judge will determine what he will pay.

[Kizzie]

I am so sorry you are still in the throes of things with him. It sounds like he blames you for his troubles but now you have the might of the law on your side to show him it's him not you. I can imagine you are exhausted though as it was a battle hard won and brought up a lot of emotions I'm sure. 

I am also quite chuffed at the lawyers and judge and their support of you. And imagine them taking such a dislike to your F almost instantly, that is something that would make me feel safe, validated and supported which too often we are not.

 

[dollyvee]

Hi Kintsugi,

Welcome to the forum. I hope you find what you need here.

I also wanted to say that what you are doing is really brave and takes a lot of courage. I'm glad (I mean more than glad - overjoyed perhaps?) that the lawyers and judges were able to validate what you had been through. I'm also sorry that he is able to have an effect on your life now in the way that he has. I hope you're able to find some distance from this.

Sending you support,
dolly