Inner Critic

[Sparky]

So as much of you all have or have had a very strong inner critic I do too. It sucks  that it is so common all over the world put on us by out parents and society.

Mine made me a perfectionist at my work,even though I work alone 95% of the time. It made me work long hours just prove myself to others. It made me take slights from others or rejections from others so seriously.

My inner critic made me hate myself. Every mistakes blown out of proportion. All this running in the back ground of my mind over the years. Putting me down, telling me I'm not good enough, telling me I'm going to *,etc. This inner critic, installed in me by my parents,made me fear God and my wife. What they think about me. It made me fear liking myself.

Over the last 2years of searching and therapy I learned that the inner critic was the worst person I ever knew. It hated me with a deep passion. It hated me for what I had done. It hated me because I might have blasphemed the Holy Ghost. That fear of doing that and missing out on a true Father,one so much better than the one that brought me into this world.

This inner critic would tell me all sorts of horrible things about myself. Things that I would hate if another person saids those things to anyone else. Just vehement hatred. There is a word in the KJV that Jesus says and it was said over and over in my mind against me.

Raca!!!