Flip flopping

[solongsummer]

Hi all...
I'm at a bit of a low point...and am wondering how others manage their second guessing.  In most relationships whenever something has gone bad I begin to desperately seek out a right and a wrong...a truth let's say....naturally however human relationships have many truths depending on the lenses we use...so this results in me flip flopping which is extremely confusing and distressing for all involved.  This behavior of reflection and calmness followed then with an outburst and again a calmness Iis destructive I know, but how do others avoid or try to control their reactive tendencies and their flip flopping..