So Scared to Say Anything Wrong/Get in Trouble

[BlueMoon_]

I've noticed that in therapy, even when my therapist is just telling me something about what I said, I'm so scared that I revealed I did something bad or messed up.

[NarcKiddo]

Maybe you could try deliberately revealing something like that to your therapist and see what they say.

It has taken me a long time to trust my therapist enough that I don't always feel the need to present a rosy picture of myself. But more recently when I have tried revealing something I am not proud of or think is bad she will often say that I am being hard on myself rather than agree that I messed up. I know her well enough to know she will never actually tell me I did wrong to my face. However, if I did or thought or said something nasty she will help me work through why I did, but will not tell me I am being hard on myself. It's not her job to take me to task for things, but equally she is not there to praise me relentlessly.

Most of the time we are very good at being hard on ourselves and it's easy to think everyone will be mean to us if we make a mistake, especially if that's what our abusers did. It is worth trying to work up the courage to own up to things in front of a safe person and experience how that can be dealt with kindly.

[Armee]

 

Its common. Usually because of how we were treated as kids. This is a huge theme for me too, and very stubborn,  especially around CSA and often perpetrators or abusers will instill these fears in their victims. 

I agree with NarcKiddo,
Keeping talking in therapy including sharing the repercussions of sharing. Overtime it softens.