Help Understanding Step 1: Stabilization

[Cascade]

Hi Group,
I'm feeling confused and hope others can help unravel a mystery.  I know the first step of recovery is safety and stabilization.  I understand the safety component.  I am physically safe for the foreseeable future and have been for decades.  I am financially safe for the coming months, at least.  It's the stabilization that I don't understand.

Is it possible to meet the definition of being stabilized and still experience emotional flashbacks?  I know the EFs will be part of life and that triggers will be part of life.  I realize now that I have never felt stable; emotional instability feels like part of life, too.

In our context of addressing CPTSD, what does stabilization look like?  Is it different from safety?  Do I have to wait to come out of this lingering weeks-long EF before declaring that I have met the definition of stabilization?  I've seen that one should be stabilized before attempting recovery work, so I fear I might be putting the cart before the horse.  Am I too unstable to begin healing?

Thanks for your help figuring this out,
   -Cascade

[NarcKiddo]

I have not heard of this approach. My first instinct was to think that it does not make sense (at least not to me) to view healing from trauma as some sort of linear progression and having to reach a certain stage before moving on to the next one. I think it is more fluid than that, although establishing a safe base to build from appears sensible. I did a quick bit of research - this blog article seems quite informative so maybe you will find it useful.
https://www.carolynspring.com/blog/the-three-phase-approach-part-one/

[Papa Coco]

Cascade,

To your question: Am I too unstable to begin healing? I have the sense that the instability is one of the major things to be healed from, so I personally believe that my answer would be no. You are not too unstable to begin healing. In a way it's like asking if you are too sick to see a doctor. My answer to that question would be that the instability is the problem your therapist can help you with.

My therapist works best with me when my instability (which I call dysregulation) is in full bloom on therapy day. He can't help me as much when I'm feeling strong. He helps me most when I'm feeling the most unable to control my moods.  When I'm at my least, I need him the most.

I used to have a car that had a nasty sense of humor. Like me, it had good days and bad. It had an unpredictably sporadic electrical problem with its brake lights. I would bring it to the garage and lights would work perfectly. The mechanics would see no problem. They couldn't fix something that wasn't broken. I'd take it back home and the brake lights would stop working again. The car was playing practical jokes on me. I brought it in for repair several times until the lucky day came when the mechanic took the car from me, and the brake lights quit working while he had it. He could finally diagnose the issue. He found a short in the wiring and was able to fix it.

I know CPTSD can't be fixed in a single visit to a mechanic, but my point is that the problem I have with dysregulation is the very problem I need help with. So, in my own world, and my own life, I don't see being dysregulated as a problem that can slow healing, I see it as the problem that needs the most attention right now.

[Blueberry]

Is it possible to meet the definition of being stabilized and still experience emotional flashbacks? 

Oh yes, very much so. Unfortunately.

In our context of addressing CPTSD, what does stabilization look like?  Is it different from safety?  Do I have to wait to come out of this lingering weeks-long EF before declaring that I have met the definition of stabilization?  I've seen that one should be stabilized before attempting recovery work, so I fear I might be putting the cart before the horse.  Am I too unstable to begin healing?

You're definitely not too unstable to begin healing. Nor I imagine is anybody else. It's a question of what healing you address when. Especially your trauma-informed therapist needs to have this in mind! Or your non-trauma-informed therapist, if that's what you have. A therapist needs to get to know how much they can pile on your plate before you revert to terribly bad coping skills for days on end, like bad SH or feeling suicidal - which is a degree worse than the SI that's fairly common with cptsd, not pleasant at all but no plans.

My unhealthy coping skills involve eating and trichotillomania, among other stuff. Some of my stabilisation involved learning and practising better coping skills. But it's still very much a work in progress.

I've written some possible stabilisation stuff here
https://www.cptsd.org/forum/index.php?topic=15081.msg129314#msg129314

I guess it's partly to do with learning and doing self-care. But neither you nor a therapist should expect miracles, nor should your T put a bunch of pressure on. In my opinion.

[GoSlash27]

 All,
 My previous post (correctly removed) was poorly worded and upset some people. I *humbly* apologize for that. I never intend to say anything on here to hurt anybody, so please accept my apology and allow me to try wording what I meant to say differently...

 I have spent my entire adult life with cPTSD. I had no idea that cPTSD even existed, let alone that I had it.
 I was quite 'stable' for thirty years. I had all of the damage that comes with it and all the attendant behavioral quirks and memory issues, but had very few panic attacks and nightmares were rare.
 I was stable, and never even thought to seek healing.
 It wasn't until I ran into something last month that brought me face to face with memories I had completely suppressed (bad ones) that all of my 'stability' vanished. I sought help *immediately* in that moment.
 It is when I'm most unstable when I most need healing. I resolved not to wait for anything.

Best,
-Slashy