Messages

I don't feel as though I have many useful words at the moment, but I think you're doing really well looking for a suitable therapist, and listening to your instincts about what might be suitable and what isn't. Sending you a supportive hug.

Hope, you're not being pathetic or looking for attention. You're a very caring and lovely person. I'm glad you feel better than yesterday.

Pleased to meet you, Wolfbane . There are quite a few of us here from the UK. You're definitely not alone.

I'm glad you slept OK.

Apologies. I had no idea my use of that word would affect you in that way. Thank you for telling me. I will edit my post to remove that word.

I hope you have a restful time on the porch. A if that helps.

Reading this with tears in my eyes. I can relate to it so much. Thank you for posting it.

I can understand that this has affected you a lot. You're doing brilliantly though, sweetie, you honestly are.

I wonder if you need to see what feels right in the morning as to what you do next.

I hope you sleep well. Remember that you're safe. It's morning here, so I'll be around if you need me. <brings relaxing tea and wraps you in a blanket> 

  

I can relate to your post a great deal. I often heard "oh that's just the way he is", with an implication that I had to just accept things, and that my needs were less important.

Your needs are every bit as important as your neighbours. Your neighbours behaviour is not acceptable, and it would make me feel icky. He should absolutely clean it up himself. You've done brilliantly by showing it to him and telling him what to do . I'm sorry it's happened again, but I agree that pushing back each time is the best course of action. I like the idea of putting a sign up.

I've had an email about a free online meditation summit starting 1st October. Thursday's session is on trauma and fear. Details of the event are here: https://www.fmtv.com/meditation-summit

Oh wow! That's huge progress!

Thanks San. That means a lot and made me laugh . 

Hope, Jazzy and notalone - thank you. You told me exactly what I needed to hear in order to shake it off.  and 

Hi Luna! Welcome to the forum.

I'm sorry you're feeling unwell. I'm very impressed that you're taking things you've learned from the conference and are putting them into practice.

Take care of yourself. Sending you love, hugs, tea and a warm fluffy blanket.

Thanks Jazzy.

I'm taking a break from work because there's something I think I need to write about. It feels as though I'm on the verge of releasing it. I realise that it's something I feel shame about, and I think it's shaking loose because of the work I did last week on releasing patterns of shame.

=== Potential TW harassment and abuse of power ===

[Edit: I wrote about experiencing ongoing sexual harassment from a lecturer while at university. I no longer need these details to be here, so I've removed them.]

I feel shame because I froze and didn't report the harassment. I recognise, however, that I froze as a natural response to previous traumas, and by this time I'd effectively been groomed by HB to react in this way. If I'd reported the harassment nothing would have been done, and there's a fair chance that I would have failed my degree. But I feel shame because maybe I should have done that anyway. I also recognise that the lecturer's behaviour wasn't my fault. I didn't ask for it, and he knew he was in a position of power over me. There's also extra shame because my parents (who didn't know what had happened) shamed me for not proceeding with the PhD, and I wasn't truthful to them about why I'd pulled out.

Feeling a bit vulnerable as I haven't really told anyone about this before, but hopefully putting the shame into the sunlight will help it wither away. I'm also wondering if the situation was abusive due to the power difference. I think it was, as that's what I'd say if it was someone else in my situation. But that's the first time I've thought of it in that way.