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I find the fact i have lost so much time, initially through addictions and avoidant behaviour, and laterly through depression and battling through recovery that it makes me sad and angry often.  Just the lost opportunity, the lost potential and the lost chances of normalcy.

however i do feel like i have learnt more, and feel i am a more wise than others through all this but apart from say in our community i dont know how this plays out in society etc, people dont generally relate or understand, and this makes me feel behind / have missed milestones and that normal life

e.g.  wish i had the courage to be more adventurious, but with my still highly active flight or fight response, this isnt likely to happen anytime soon

anyway, its a bit of a rant, but i am keen to hear how others have come to terms with this aspect, as i feel it sometimes slows me down and my progress

thank you all and best wishes

I assume this topic has been covered many a time before but given my particular questions i am posting my own version.

I am currently investigating becoming a therapist, and have been doing an initial introductory course.  My current career feels like a waste of time and energy, i feel a need to live more or give more after losing so much time to my cPSTD.  Money is a concern but i feel that its less of a concern when i consider a life spent doing the same thing will do to my mentality.

Anyway, Given my personal varied experiences in therapy and now EMDR, i just feel i can relate and resonate in a manner others cannot  (in my experience - therapist was weak / unable to comprehend [told me an addiction was just like closing a box], or has too much ego). 

However i have a few concerns:

- I have a default position of giving and focusing on others needs, rather than my own given my manipulated upbringing
- I was shut out from my own emotions for a long time, and it took time to feel, wonder how that impacts my ability to relate
- concerns around burn out and the emotional weight of this type of work

anyway, if anyone has thoughts i would appreciate them as i navigate this given its a big commitment if i carry it forward

thank you

Hi all,

New here, and glad i have joined. I have been on a complicated journey and trying to "fix" myself for years, with i think a bit too much time lost in unhelpful therapy.

I dont want to go through my story story, but for context i suffer cPTSD, which has gotten better, mostly through my own actions, however i have finally taken some time away from work to try and deal with it properly, but think i will have to go back sooner than i wanted given i think the EMDR will take much longer given an addiction that needs addressed also. I am quite confused as to what i do long term though, as i think a career change and more life focus is in order, as i want to live happier as i have lived depressed, lonely and avoidant for far too long.

Anyway, i am glad i am here, and look forward to engaging with others

Cheers

Hi,

I am new here, and was reading the guidelines and wanted this line explained to me, if someone can:

"Many of us with CPTSD have been trained to be caretakers and recovery for us involves resisting the temptation to do so here at OOTS. "

I have a sense of what this means, and particularly from my own background - i became the pseudo parent to my much younger brothers, but i wasnt aware of it being so common, or maybe it means something else?

thanks