For a while, I've had experiences which are dredging up all of the worst sorts of the worst sort of negative memories. They've been draining me. I feel like a failure; keep hearing all the old taunts from abusers: ''see, you can't do this; you're no good, never were, can't even help yourself.''
The worst is I've felt pretty okay for, well, a few years but when things slip like this they seem to hit me worse than it seems that it should. I only thought I had lots of coping skills with which to build ack, but I'm feeling very faint and hopeless right now. I have no support network to speak of, except here where I know there's probably someone who can relate. This is so scary -- I take care of my needs as best I can and just like those old taunts would remind me, ''see -- you really are no good.''
I better drag myself back to view the sun's continued sharing of the light -- may it be able to soothe this aching heart.
And if you've been here reading, thank you for having stopped by, and may you fare well.
There was a beautiful sunrise today -- I know as I couldn't have gotten more than a few winks of fretful sleep.
The worst is I've felt pretty okay for, well, a few years but when things slip like this they seem to hit me worse than it seems that it should. I only thought I had lots of coping skills with which to build ack, but I'm feeling very faint and hopeless right now. I have no support network to speak of, except here where I know there's probably someone who can relate. This is so scary -- I take care of my needs as best I can and just like those old taunts would remind me, ''see -- you really are no good.''
I better drag myself back to view the sun's continued sharing of the light -- may it be able to soothe this aching heart.
And if you've been here reading, thank you for having stopped by, and may you fare well.
There was a beautiful sunrise today -- I know as I couldn't have gotten more than a few winks of fretful sleep.