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but i feel contented and relaxed, which really feels nice.

Sounds nice... glad to hear it!

Thanks Hope, I appreciate it. 

I've been feeling out of control lately. I'm mostly depressed, always feeling tired, even though I sleep a lot. Its so difficult to get anything accomplished. It has really interfered with my daily routines (like posting on here, and sleeping/eating properly), which is very frustrating. I hope it passes soon.

I also hope everyone else is doing alright. Sorry I haven't been posting much, I'm not really communicating with anyone right now.

Feeling pretty much the same. Its hard to set time aside for doing things. I'm getting really caught up in whatever I'm doing and losing track of time. I've been keeping food down, but eating less. Maybe that's a good thing. We'll see.

Thank you Blueberry and Snowdrop    Today I got a message letting me know that at least someone was working on the problem, and they would update me when they had more info. So, that's great! I was expecting to have to escalate the situation to get any results. I'm really relieved it didn't come to that.



This weekend I've been feeling a lot more like I did when I was younger. It is nice having increased energy and focus, but there are downsides as well. It is more difficult to get to sleep at night, much harder to eat. I could barely keep lunch down, and dinner came back. So, I'm going to go deal with that, I just wanted to post quickly about how I've been feeling.

Thanks, I've been trying not to cycle on it, but having limited success. I'm also trying not to imagine the worst, but these people are hostile and rude.

Mostly I wish that when I am treated like that, I could stay present and control what I say, and remember afterwards. Its so difficult to accomplish anything when I'm  so disconnected. If I wasn't so upset about it, I'd probably be scared. Who knows what not-me/me will do; its gotten me in trouble before.

Well, I haven't dared talk to my psychiatrist about it, so I don't have an official diagnosis... but I'm quite sure I live with DID. The only person I ever told was my at-the-time-wife. In my opinion, she was pretty dismissive of it, even though I clearly exhibit two different personalities with different names, behaviours, ways of speaking etc. People have made comments about how different I am sometimes, but that's as far as anyone has gone.

I wish I had something more positive to share, but I don't, so I can only say that I hope it goes better for you. As for advice, I would say to have someone who will back you up, because people tend to automatically minimize stuff like this. If you can do it with your T present, that would be great (not 100% sure if that's what you mean by "in a session").

I'd also say to give some real thought as to what it means to you to live with DID, how it effects you, and how you expect others to treat you. If they don't just refuse it, they will likely be confused and not sure how to deal with it/you.

All the best; take care!

Thank you notalone; that is very kind!

That's great Blueberry! I second that, for sure. Work to improve, and be happy with yourself, not to meet "standards".

Sorry to hear this has upset you so much rebelsue.  It doesn't seem like a very solid answer, but CPTSD is a stress disorder, and constant stress regularly has those effects on people (weakened immune system, high sensitivity to difficult situations etc).

About the medical tests; in my experience it comes down to how much time, effort, and money you throw at the problem. There might not be a mold test specifically (without a biopsy), but there are a plethora of respiratory tests, x-rays, etc. that can be done. A GP can do the basic ones, specialists exist for advanced ones. There are a lot of brain chemistry and other tests that can be done too, but they're not common yet, so you usually have to pay a university, or be accepted as a test case.

I believe you about how you describe your symptoms, nothing would really surprise me anymore. To get back to something practical, I would have your GP check you out for respiratory problems and based on that you can decide if the symptoms are likely from stress/anxiety, or from a more external source. Either way, I hope it passes soon. Take care!

It makes sense to substitute in something you can deal with, over something that you can't. At least you're still making some progress that way. I hope you feel better soon Sceal. Take care!

Feeling overwhelmed/anxiety is exhausting, but good job looking on the bright side with the tools and support.

Sounds great Three Roses; wishing you all the best!

Talked to some people today, lots of confrontation. Basically got to the point I didn't know what I was saying or doing anymore. Finally went for a shower and just stared at the wall for a long while. Not sure how I'm supposed to deal with this. Those who are supposed to help us disabled people seem to be the worst kind of people. I guess its easy for them to walk all over us. Its disgusting, really. At least no more confrontation till next week.

Sounds like a good plan. Stay strong!

That's great, good for you!