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Does anyone know what its means if you're trembling a lot. Like you just had a car accident kinda thing. Anyone ever experienced it? I've been feeling it alot and want to understand why. Its not to do with temperature, its something emotional.

Thanks guys. Yes Kat, that makes sense to me. I often don't stop and celebrate  or give myself credit for my victories/achievements. I want to do that, acknowledge that it was hard, 'against' the family pattern or way of thinking and being.....if that makes sense. Felt today like a betrayal of the family but I am allowed to protect myself, since niether of my parents did. SO THERE!

Got a legal aid lawyer to write a warning letter to my parents yesterday.  To warn against repeatedly trying to contact me despite me telling them not too. A win for protecting myself. Scary too. No family is always a frightening thought even if theyre not safe. Still, its a big deal for me to do this

Enjoying these stories. I have an 11yr old brown burmese boy who i adore. He's such a snuggly affectionate boy. Dont feel up to writing a story but thanks for yours.

Like this thread. Have wanted to do a regular gratitude practice regularly but need a friend to do it with to keep motivation going.
I am grateful for my support worker cooking food for me. The love of my cat. Owning a car.

Thanks for that info Kizzie, I;m going to email Sidran now.

I've been suffering from memory issues as I become more and more depressed. Its pretty scary. My psych rang me in the morning a couple of days ago, then again later that afternoon. Later that evening I couldn't remember if she had called me that morning as well as that afternoon, so twice in one day. I feel like I'm going crazy!
Has anyone else had this? I'm scared and need some reassurance and comfort.

Got an appt with psychiatrist, 4hrs drive away on Thursday. There aren't any available good ones where I live, its REALLY hard to find one here. A lot of people go interstate. I like her but she says she can't manage my ongoing care. How can I trust another psychologist after this one ripped my heart out? I am in so much pain inside, but I'm distancing/cutting myself off from it because its overwhelming me and I don't feel I have any anchoring, safe support. Its horrible. I'm wasting my life! Feel a rush to get on with healing and living a life cos this is sucking it out of me and taking my time away from me. So I'll drive up there on Wednesday....got a different Dr's appt for a neck injury, stay overnight then see the psych on thursday then drive home. Had trouble finding someone to look after my boy Sam (loving cat) but may have found a lady to come and feed him at least.
This psych offered me a stay in her hospital and I tried it once before but discharged myself. They left me alone, no program, no showing me around, for the first 5 days! it was so lonely and scary. The food was awful and they put me straignt into a share room, the only privacy is behind a threadbare pull curtain. I tdidn't feel safe or private. Two others girls were in the room and new each other really well and both snored. I gently woke one of them up one night cos her snoring was so loud I couldn't sleep and she swore repeatedly at me. I didn't feel safe after that. Then a third woman came in and it was a nightmare. So I don't want to go back into the hospital but I want to keep this psychiatrist. She's the only person I have right now.......no family or close friends. I don't feel any hope that I'll ever be given the love I need to heal. Everytime I've almost had it I am rejected.

In 2016 I was deeply betrayed and rejected by my long term therapist and Ive met with about 20 since then. My trust has been broken along with my heart. She did so much good and i began to heal and then she did so much damage. At times I feel I wont survive the loss and betrayal. So I hear you. Finding a good therapist is effing hard and very expensive! Ive come across a few who should not be practising and are frankly dangerous and many who dont have their heart in it. I dont know what to do.

Candid, thanks for the links. I don't self harm.

Hi all, I rang the psychologists office today, sobbing. Talked to the receptionist. She wasnt mean but she hung up on me. I cant survive the betrayal and abandonment of my psychologist. She said we had a special relationship, that no matter what happened we'd be ok, that she always be here for me.  She gave me that love and support ive craved whole life and never got from my mum. Then she ripped it away and blamed me for feeling angry and hurt. I am having thoughts of ending my life. I dont know if Im breaking a rule by talking about that. Im sorry of thats the case. I have no one. She was my lifeline, my anchor. I'm alone. I dont want to be here anymore.