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Hello - I relate to what u have said about how u feel - it wasn't too long ago I felt like that - but I don't now - ( mostly )

Damaged self worth is part of the aftermath -

Healing is so v possible and to become the person we were always meant to be -
Have u spoken to your doctor -
Is there access to therapy services for you ?


I got offered a really good therapist who specialises and she is really helping me re build

I wish u all the best for the start of your healing

I've been finding a real growth spurt quick - therapist is v good -
To start really seeing the damage is very eye opening and yes I had mixed feelings too - just as you've described -
Yes I had that thought a few mths ago ' how long is this going to take -
Now I don't feel like this
Best wishes

Fab thank u for your feed back it just may promote me to read some

Good for you on being alcohol free
I am 5yrs sober - alcohol never makes things better in the long run

Best wishes and blessings to your mum and to you

Kizzie

So glad to hear where u are - made me happy reading it
And yes it makes perfect sense

Hello yes Am def a hsp -
Nature -water- meditation and quiet all help me -
Incense and rose

I always have felt I am on a different frequency  - I am very sensitive to spiritual life and that is a gift I feel -

Textures smells art and colour are all so magnificent to me -

Love is wonderful but pain is v hard 

Thank u for the thread x

Hello I would like to share a link with you

I haven't explored it much yet but I am drawn to the exercises inc mindfullness

All best wishes (love ootf ) x

http://www.compassionatemind.co.uk/downloads/training_materials/3.%20Clinical_patient_handout.pdf

Jdog
Thank u for sharing
I too am in a time of becoming aware of the poor self concept and critical voice in my head - waking up to it is alarming yet good - hopeful -

I am now seeing a therapist who specialises in child trauma and she is v good -
Healthy dependence not sue if it is truly classed as co dependence  as the compliance element is to do withy own growth -
I like her a lot it is very much adult t adult and I resect and need that at this point in my recovery
I've relied on therapists a lot of my adult life - and thank god for that -

I liked what u said about coming out of the cocoon - it's a good good feeling really sensing a place of newness and life

It's been a long road - would I want to do it again - * no !!
But then I don't have to
Grateful

Hi 

Me too - cptsd is the only thing that fits and makes perfect sense and hope !!
I feel so grateful for all the work that has been done so far -

I've had lots of therapy over the yrs and now am seeing someone who specialises in child trauma - she is v good and I don't have to pay for the 1st time ! 

Good luck on the recovery journey sailing towards who we were meant to be a day at a time

My 12 step programme has taught me to work with acceptance - acceptance of my experience -
Pushing myself and trying so hard to over come my emotional world often has the opposite effect -

And fear yes. - I may fail something but all I can do is my best with what I have - work is important but not as much as my health and Ive worked to put me first - and my limitations

There is a drive in me to push it harder - go quicker and --- exhaust myself so all I can do is nothing -

Middle ground

When fear turns to terror I know I have not been in that middle ground - that inc all sorts of things

The worst that can happen is I fail or don't match my high expectations and if that happens we'll then I'm human just like everyone else

Best wishes and breathe

You didn't deserve any of it - this is the truth
Shame is a hard thing ( I still suffer from it ) but having someone around who is damaging now is not an option for me ..
In some ways I have learnt to live alone and actually I can see now that I've needed time to be alone and I did feel lonely but I also had some time to heal and learn that I take care of me -
The past few months I seem to be coming out of it a bit and carefully coming out of my room and looking around in the world -

my therapist points to me being compassionate to my self and this is something that of course doesn't come naturally as the default setting is - to beat myself inside but am learning -

I believe that any of us can heal and become the person we were meant to be - it requires the right support and having people who can work with us therapeutically in the right way to help us heal -

What does your therapist say about the social phobia - ?

I am quite new here - but so grateful that we can support each other and find out how to heal and move in our recovery

Best wishes

Thank you 

Thank u for this post - I really like the make inner critic into a cartoon character - and am going to try this

I never found the getting angry with it works - getting angry and processing yes
My inner critic is so damaging and isolating

Here is a link I have been meaning to look at

http://www.compassionatemind.co.uk/downloads/training_materials/3.%20Clinical_patient_handout.pdf

Really need to post tonight and very grateful for this forum and people just like me (in terms of this stuff..

I am getting to see so clearly my need to have people like me and my need for attention.. 'what about me!! Is a common voice I hear inside myself lately .. 
It feels good though - that I can hear that part of me (addiction free) and that I get to be something different to get my needs met...
Neg auto thoughts I get a lot are 'they don't like me' and I feel such shame for being me - but I put on a jokey front - to get attention-
I am learning to be vulnerable (a little at a time) eye contact and sharing a little of me and my life - so others can see who I am - it's scarey but it feels good
I want to be parented by people - I think that's what it is - for others to include me - nurture me - and I'm getting to see how relating is a two way thing ( I used to be too over caring for others -

The other thing I'm struggling with is critical thinking of my partner - he just isn't good enough on any level (according to my head ) and tonight I had a realisation that that voice is my mothers to my father - the fundamental message is - 'you don't make me feel whole ' and of course no one does until we feel whole ourselves -

I am so grateful to be able to write this evening and share -
It's been such a long journey but I really see am making progress -
Getting my needs met both internally and in relationships - new ground to a new life xx

Good stuff