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Beautifully written Milarepa, it brought tears to my eyes 

Other than you folks and my H and T of course, I haven't told anyone about having CPTSD.  I was just working on a piece about how to talk to children about personality disorders over at OOTF and realized that while my H and I have talked to my son about PDs I have not told him about my CPTSD (he is 22 and has been away at university since I was diagnosed). I do plan to at some point but it got me to wondering if any of you have told your kids/family/friends, how you went about it and did/does it help with your recovery at all?

If you come across a post that is spam or something that is not within our guidelines I'd ask that you click on the "Report to Moderator" button on the lower right of the post in question. That way I can quickly and easily deal with it as I will not be on the forum quite as much from now until end Dec.   

Tks everyone!

Sorry to hear about your diagnosis BeHealthy 

Hey Carmerlenga - glad to hear you're reading Walker's first book, I am thinking it will be next on my list. 

I am quite interested in any discussion of how we made it out of our childhood injured but not broken.  My B did not unfortunately - he has Narcissistic Personality Disorder just like my NPDM.  He was the GC and being up on the pedestal he was never grounded in any way.  In my case I was the family Scapegoat so had something to rail against (even if it was internal railing), but I was also Lost Child and spent a lot of time reading in my room alone so had a view into a bigger, saner world.  In addition, at age 16 I stayed in Ontario to finish high school when my F (military) was posted to Quebec  and then went on to university. I have CPTSD so didn't escape the trauma unscathed, but I think I easily could have slid into a PD if I'd been around my FOO longer than I was. 

I've also read that having even one significant adult in your life (aunt, grandparent, coach, teacher) can give children who were abused/neglected enough resiliency to come through "injured but not broken." I unfortunately did not have anyone like that - did you perhaps? It also sounds like you were fairly open about being angry in your FOO (i.e., "cheeky, an obnoxious and ingrateful brat") - many of us shut down those outward expressions of anger, I know I did. 

Whatever it was or is that gave us some resiliency, all I can say is I'm grateful. It's not great having CPTSD but it could have been much worse (developed a PD), and I would not have had any opportunity to recover and enjoy my life.

Hi Again BeHealthy - Unfortunately unless you change your settings re email you won't receive notifications     Does the "Show New Replies ...." help with that?

   Cat.  What about linking to CBT, grounding and self-soothing in addition to titration?  (I/the OOTF site manager may have to add the actual links after all the terms are done and uploaded but in the meantime we can say "See also ........")

I like these shorter versions - phew, we would be moving into the old folks home by the time the longer version was done   

[Sasha]

Sasha - I have not heard that taking drugs or drinking is a conscious form of self-harm unless perhaps it's a deliberate overdose. Is your use intended as self-harm or is it to numb yourself as relief from stress and anxiety? And I'm curious as to what is mean by traumatic reenactment - that sounds interesting, can you tell us more? 

Hey SunKitten - I used to get RLS when I was undergoing chemo - it's awful isn't it?  For anyone who hasn't had it, it's like you get these creepy feelings in your legs and you have to move them, no matter how tired you are. Mine was so bad the first two times I had it I ended up cleaning house in the middle of the night. Cleaning house is bad enough but when it's the middle of the night and everyone else is sleeping ......  Anyway, we figured out eventually that it was the steroids in my chemo cocktail so the doc took it out.  I'm with you on the drinking alcohol thing, I really got into it last year into this spring, but have since quit as I was heading toward a full blown addiction. 

London/BadMemories - I'm still considering trying pot as it is legal in a nearby state. My main reservation is that I will get into it the way I was with alcohol and it will stall my recovery in some way.  Still mulling things over - would be nice to have something for arthritis pain and for sleeping (currently use a prescribed meds for both, one of which is really hard on the stomach). 

All - it seems like there is a desire to be able to talk about self-medicating openly so let's carry on, just make sure we're not recommending to others that they try an illegal substance or drink alcohol as a way to deal with CPTSD symptoms, and that we don't talk about buying or selling. 

Just wanted to add a note here that the Glossary entries are going to use a shorter format then the one at our sister site OOTF, initially at least.  If we don't go to a shorter version it will take forever to get even a basic Glossary uploaded.  Anyway, the new format will just include a definition, description and resources.


BadMemories - sorry to hear you were/are sick.    I'm with Cat - don't beat yourself up if you're not practicing self-care perfectly, that just takes energy away from recovery   (I think we need to do a Glossary entry on perfectionism - might be one or two of us here who lean a 'tad' in that direction  )

Wow Cat, you are the woman!     

Tks for all your work on this   

Hi SunKitten - Just touchnig base to see how you're making out - better I hope 

I'm in the middle of reading a book on mothers who can't love, and it says that it's actually a very good idea to see who ones parents are and how they got that way. I've recently stumbled upon a book about my parents' generation, and it was VERY eye-opening. It helps me realize that what they taught me is just their way of seeing the world. It's their reaction to their own trauma. It's not necessarily what the world is really like.

Yes, the trauma legacy and the bigger picture    In an odd way knowing there are many FOO in my past (not just my parents, but their parents and their parents .....) who contributed to the legacy has helped me with not feeling so alone.  I understand it's a cycle started a long time ago and we all got caught in it (and more importantly that the cycle can be interrupted).

Hi BeHealthy:

Q1 -I'm not sure if there is another way you can be notified so have asked my fellow mods at OOTF and will let you know once I hear.  In the meantime, you can use the "Show New Replies to Your Posts" top left under "Hello BeHealthy"

Q2 - If you click on the person's name it will take you to their profile page where you can then click on "Show Posts" and that will bring up all their posts.

Q3 - I do move things around when I catch it but you can always PM and ask me to move something. 

Finally!  The running dawg -  Rain

Our dawg does not get up for love nor money (dog treat) unless he's had a solid 10 hours. 

During the day if anyone comes to the door he's all over it, but after 8 or 9  PM we're lucky to get a "Woof" from his bedroom (the MBRM walk-in closet which he lets us use for our clothes.)   Off duty I guess