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These are two blogs about emotional abuse that I've found very validating and eye opening https://theinvisiblescar.wordpress.com/ and https://afternarcissisticabuse.wordpress.com/2013/12/01/signs-that-youve-been-abused-by-a-narcissist/
The second one I have to take slowly and read when I'm in a good place. (I don't know if those links will work...Sorry in advance...)

Does anyone know of any good resources for people who are in a relationship with someone who is trying to recover from an addiction?
Anything would be super helpful, I'm really struggling.

Yesterday I had the biggest worst panic attack I've ever had. I was shaking and tingling all over and couldn't feel my extremities. I was breathing so so fast it took hours to get feeling back in my hands and feet. Anyway today I'm dealing with the opposite. I feel like I weigh a million pounds I'm moving so slow and can't think clearly. I feel like a zombie. The physical response to what happened yesterday is so strong I can't even think or feel anything about it.
I guess I just needed to get this out. Sorry for rambling.

This whole week i've been stuck in this deep, heavy sadness. i don't know what brought it on, but everything is just adding to it. it's like i had a realization (came out of major denials for a second) and it was like "oh my gosh, i'm dealing with THAT???" I don't know if that makes any sense... i thought i was getting over and "accepting" some of the layers of trauma, but i think i was just getting comfortable in denial, cuz i still get triggered and then spend hours (sometimes more) after in panic. i don't know what it was this week that caused me to thaw out a little, but i just am constantly on the verge of tears (if only my eyes would cooperate). i'm back in that place where i just want to sit on my bed all day and stare at the wall. but i have to put on a happy face and just keep going.

i'm pretty new to the discovery of CPTSD, and am just slowly starting to FINALLY make some sense of myself and become aware of my emotions instead of just squashing and burying them to please others...anyway, i feel this deep deep dark sadness hanging over me constantly and my impulse is to shy away from it, push it away, bury it. i've heard to just sit with my emotions, but for some reason that always makes me uncomfortable, like i'm cringing away from myself. i try to write out everything to, but i get like terrified that someone will find in and i'll be "in trouble" like when i was a kid. Does anyone have any suggestions for getting through these intense emotions?

Thank you

I'm not sure where this should go. Sorry if this is the wrong place.
So I have therapy later today and I'm really not wanting to go. I'm not sure why. This is kind of just me ranting trying to get through my thoughts know guess. I know I got triggered my last session... I think he explained more than I was ready for, but would that make me not want to go today? I feel like he talks about what he wants to talk about? Maybe I feel too validated in one aspect of the trauma but invalidated in another. In one aspect he's telling me that the person is pathological but another aspect he's telling me the person is justified in their feelings (and rude comments. He didn't say that though) maybe I expected him to take my  side. Maybe he just doesn't get that part cuz he's a guy and I feel it different cuz I'm a woman? I don't know.
I'm pretty sure this post makes no sense, but do other people ever not want to see their therapist?

I don't know exactly where this post should go...I'm sorry if it's in the wrong place.
So my SO has an addiction that I've known about for a while but I still get triggered by random things. I'm kind of losing it right now so I'm sorry if this is totally incoherent. What do you do to cope with panic attacks? Usually I just wait them out by totally shutting down but I'm at work right now so that's not really an option. Literally when they happen at home I lock myself on the bathroom and sit on the floor just rocking back and forth. I don't know how to keep functioning normally right now. I'm kinda just barely holding it together...

So I really don't know if this is dissociation or not. I have very real feelings that I'm in a dream. It's hard to describe but there are moments when I'm like "wait, this is real?" I don't know if that makes any sense or not. I just have like fuzzy, detached, confused feelings. Does anyone else get that? Is it dissociation?

Hello
So this is my first time, I don't know exactly what to say...
I found this site from out of the fog. I've been doing a lot of research to try and put words to what is going on in me--all I know is that it isn't normal... reading about cPTSD it all just clicked if that makes sense. I struggle with a lot of issues from verbal/emotional abuse that's lasted as long as I can remember (my therapist described this person as pathological): depression, GAD, social anxiety, really low self esteem, panic attacks...you know. I isolate a lot and struggle with co-dependency also. I don't really know what I'm trying to say here. It's just been a really rough few weeks and I need to talk to people who understand I guess.