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Well I'm back home. I sent soon to be ex husband an email telling him it was time for us to separate. He called while I was driving and when he asked why I told him I knew he spent the last two Friday's with his lover behind my back and I no longer want to live that way. I told him I'd like to end this peacefully and like adults. So far so good.

It was a little hard being here but not as hard as I thought. H told me he was really impressed with how well I'm handling things and I thanked him and said I've been working hard on my own stuff for awhile and I do feel mentally/emotionally much stronger. Even though it's over for us maybe seeing my progress will inspire him to do some of his work and serve as an example for him that people can grow and change.
I'm excited for all the future holds and know things can only get better from here. Just knowing the truth is making things better already.

Thanks sanmagic7.

Thanks ThreeRoses, I agree. I'm already starting to feel better. I'm going to go to the jewler and get my wedding rings cut off today (and maybe pawn them!). I also deleted all of his pictures. I'm ready to move on and it feels good if somewhat bitter sweet to be starting a new life without him. I think I needed to see the full scope of his deception so I would not be tempted in anyway to continue in the relationship. It's hard when you've been with another person that long but there is truly nothing left for me with him and it's good to face that fact and close this chapter of my life.

He dropped her off at her car at 7:45 this morning.

I have to remember there is a whole world of possibility open to me now that I no longer have to consider him in the equation. I'm going to just try to remain focused on my own self care.

It's liberating to know that all of his addictions will no longer be a constant part of my existence.

Now I'm trying to decide if I want to stay out of town one more day or go home. Part of me thinks it would be better to just stay so I can half way get myself together emotionally. I also probably shouldn't let him know that I know until the bank is open Monday and I can get my part of money in our savings account. He dropped her off at her car 20 minutes ago and I'm not sure if I want to walk into my home where they have been together all night. I think I really should stay gone but I miss my dogs.

Hugs to you sanmagic7.

Yesterday H spent the day while I was out of town with the OW at my house. They may be there together right now for all I know. I can't put into words how sick I feel.

No one should have to go through something like this but at least I now have the undeniable evidence and that is very important for me so I can move forward. I think part of me wanted to believe his lies even though I knew better. It's just too bad he had to bring her into my home when he knew I'd be away.

I've been reading some about divorcing on OOTF and that's been helpful. I found a useful checklist for when you leave. I think I'm starting to make peace with this and although I'm sure my emotions will be somewhat all over the place for awhile this feels right and I'm starting to have hope for the future which honestly I haven't had for quite some time.

 Thanks Three Roses. 

Please excuse my excessive posts but I just have to get this off my chest.

My husband called me from the bar at 6:40 and said he was going to drop some material off at a job site with his brother and then he would be home to talk and have dinner. The job site is @15-20 minutes away. At 8:20 I sent him a text that I was going to go ahead and go eat which I did (yay me!  ). He comes home at 9:00 and said we could talk after he drinks a few more beers with his brother. In a calm non provoking tone of voice I replied that it was too bad talking to me wasn't a priority. He said it is a priority and we could have had dinner together. I just don't have words to describe how self centered and ridiculous that is.
Now he thinks I'm just going to wait up so we can 'talk'. Would any rational person think it's okay to treat another person, let alone their spouse that way?

Thanks again for the encouragement sanmagic7.

I'm mostly writing this out to get it off my chest and so I don't forget as what happened is a perfect example beyond the infidelity of why I am getting out of this marriage. I would never expect anyone to stay with someone who treated them this poorly.

Husband came home from work and within 15 minutes of being home (he said he wanted to talk to me earlier) he got a call from his brother and made plans with him. He is now at a bar drinking with his brother while I'm sitting at home in my new bedroom. I'd normally be deeply hurt as I have been too many times to count in the last 18 years but sadly I'm used to being the least important thing in his life. In all fairness he did invite me to go but I said no. Like I'm really in the mood to sit at a bar with him and his brother right now. I did get the GPS tracker put in his car though so when he gets together with his mistress tomorrow I will have undeniable proof and he can no longer gaslight me. I can't even believe this is my life right now. It can only get better from here. I am proud of myself though.

He wants to talk tonight. He's really mad about me checking up on him. Oh well, I guess if he were trustworthy I wouldn't have felt the need to check up on him.
I'm real emotional but I suppose that's to be expected. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt I will be better off without him but it's still hard after being with someone for 18 years. It's good though that I'm starting to think about life without him. He suggested I spend the weekend with my daughter to 'getaway'. Hmmm, that's not the least bit suspicious. That's the most hurtful part. His actions scream that he is being unfaithful and lying but he keeps denying it and gaslighting me. It's devastatingly hurtful but it will be over soon.

Thank you both! Yes, I'm fine. When he came home he said he was too upset to talk and I said "me too" so we just slept in different rooms. He left early for work this morning and when he called me he was crying. Maybe we will talk tonight. I dunno but I kinda like my new peaceful bedroom.

Thanks for the moral support wife#2 and sanmagic7.

I'm afraid things might hit the fan tonight. I called to check up on him at work and he got mad and hung up the phone on me and now won't answer my calls or texts. I'm all set up to sleep in the spare bedroom and call for emergency help if he starts getting violent. He has never really gotten physical with me but he did with his first wife and I'm not taking any chances.

I love you sanmagic7!

Seriously, I appreciate coming here and reading your encouraging words.

I'm starting to get worried. I've lost 15 pounds from stress and not eating. This isn't good. I plan on kicking my husband out of the house on Friday so hopefully I'll be able to get back on track. I just keep telling myself only two more days. My brother has agreed to be our intermediary so if my husband needs something I've drafted a letter that instructs him to tell my brother so I don't have to talk to him directly. I've contacted a lawyer and got a Post office box set up so he can't steal my mail. I'm dealing with the money/bank on Friday while he is with his mistress. I'm trying to hold it together to take care of all the practical details. Wish me luck.

 Thanks sanmagic7!