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I was just recently reading about conversion disorder.  And think that is what I had.  I had it until I was 28. 

See, I couldn't hear people or see people right.  Like I couldn't hear conversation, but if people spoke directly to me, I could.  Also, people were like shadows to me.  For example, if it was a stranger, I couldn't see what they were wearing or their body language... I just saw an random entity.   

I couldn't tell that it was a somatic condition, until I broke out of it.  I broke out of it because my feelings suddenly changed for the better  about who I was.    It was like Tommy in the Who's Rock Opera, when the mirror smashed!   

I had this type of impairment until I was 28, and I never heard it described like this, so I don't know if it is dissociation or not.  But I'll try to describe it here...

See, I couldn't hear people or see people right.  Like I couldn't hear conversation, but if people spoke directly to me, I could.  Also, people were like shadows to me.  For example, if it was a stranger, I couldn't see what they were wearing or their body language... I just saw an random entity.   

Like I said, I came out of it when I was 28, so It couldn't be autism.  I think it came from extreme withdrawal from people, but it was real physical symptoms.   I couldn't hear conversations no matter how hard I tried, so it was like auditory processing disorder (APD).  I think I still have APD mildly, but not have as bad as before 28.

I don't know if it will help anyone else, but it helped me, so I'll bring it up.

Everyone's different about their coping mechanisms and how they think about stuff, and for me this was scary.  I only understood people like me, and everyone else was on my avoid list.   If anyone remember Bug's Bunny and the red hairy monster named Gossamer, and how Gossamer was so scared of people.... that was me.

What really helped was reading about personality types.  There are several kinds of personality typers out there, but I prefer Briggs Myers for it's simplicity.  I would read about the strengths and weaknesses of all the people out there and began to feel that there is a reason for everyone in this world.  And not to feel so afraid when people react differently than I would.

Your Outer Critic tells you not to trust people.  And you want to learn to trust people.   But what if, in your life, there really are a lot of critical people.   Like if your gay, and a lot of people are against gay people... how would you deal with it?   

Hi,
Never been diagnosed with C-ptsd.  Have been diagnosed with ADD.  But the Ritalin didn't work.   Now I read that it's mistaken for people who over use the Freeze response.

Reading about C-ptsd makes so much sense to me, but I really wish I'd known about it sooner.  I'm 50 years old, and have gotten a lot better without a psychologist to help me.  There was one psychologist when I was in college who helped me be aware of feelings.  But other than that, psychologists were at a loss with me.  The thing that really help me was falling in love when I was 28.  I realized that falling in love is not about the other person... it's all about you... you think that finally there is a person who will love you for exactly who you are... and that makes you lovable.  When I did that, I came out of the fog.

I still have problems with excessive shyness.  But maybe attacking it from a C-ptsd frame of mind would help?