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Welcome! I've recently started reading Pete Walker's book and also found it really affirming of my experience. I hope you find the forums helpful.

Definite progress! I've noticed myself becoming more aware in similar ways in the past year, and I try to acknowledge this because I think it's so important to congratulate ourselves for this intense work we do and the progress we're making along the way. It's so easy to feel like nothing is in improving, but there are so many seemingly small achievements that are in fact pretty massive I think!

I'm really happy for you.

Great advice from the posts above. Like ct_08 said, I've found emailing my T between sessions to be immensely helpful. At first I felt so bad writing to her, like I was inconveniencing her and taking up too much of her time, but she was very clear that she wanted me to email her as it helped her understand me better. I find I often can't find the words to express what is going on in my head or feel too embarrassed to say what I'm thinking when in person, but I'm able to write it down. I've been seeing my T for over a year now, and I've noticed myself becoming more able to say things out loud to her. Trust is a slow process, but that's ok. I'd be interested to hear how you've been going since you posted. 

I've had great success with EMDR and am currently seeing a therapist who is trained in various therapeutic modalities including EMDR for complex PTSD/dissociation etc. I chose my therapist particularly because I knew they had extensive training and experience in this area.

From my experiences so far and reading I've done on EMDR, it is not necessary to have detailed memories to 'target' for EMDR sessions. Often focusing on a simple unusual sensation in the body, or a more vague sense of unease without a clear memory is enough. The great thing about EMDR is it can often help you work out the memories that are connected to these vague feelings or sensations. That has been my experience anyway. I hope I'm making sense!

I think what is more important than having a whole lot of traumatic memories to 'work on' is that your T is experienced in working with complex trauma and dissociation in their use of EMDR. Perhaps bring up with your T your concerns about not always having a particular memory or issue to work on every session and see what they say? I often come to my EMDR sessions completely blank and unsure about what I want to work on, but usually a few questions from my T will get me started talking about something that would be worthwhile exploring. Often we will 'check in' about the past week and if anything particular has come up in between sessions, or follow on directly from the last session where we may have started processing but not completely worked through something.

I hope this gives you some insight!

Very interesting read! While I've found the theory of structural dissociation immensely helpful in understanding my own experience, I can also see how it would not apply so neatly to all diagnoses and experiences. I've always seen it more as a helpful guide than some definitive explanation for how dissociation works. It's a useful framework, but ultimately it's just a theory.

Hi everyone,

It has been a while since I visited the forums. I wanted to ask if anyone here has or suspects they might have OSDD-1 as well as CPTSD. I've always wondered myself, but put it to the back of my mind as I felt the CPTSD label was plenty to deal with in itself! There doesn't seem to be a whole lot of information about OSDD online, especially the differentiation between DID or CPTSD. I think I've read pretty much every article there is to read on the topic now, and I'm getting a better understanding -- especially in relation to the Theory of Structural Dissociation of the Personality, that OSDD-1 is similar to CPTSD in that they both involve secondary structural dissociation. I guess you could say OSDD-1 just goes one step further on the dissociation spectrum.

Prior reading I did on OSDD-1 was quite clear on categorising what constituted OSDD-1a and OSDD-1b, and I ended up dismissing my suspicions as I didn't fit either of those criteria, rather I fit both! I've since been reading more on the topic, and there are people who talk about this still being OSDD-1.

This has all come up for me again after a particularly illuminating session with my T the other day where I discovered a child part of me who doesn't identify with my adult body and sees themselves as 'trapped' in my body. It's been quite a revelation to me as it puts my longstanding body image issues in a totally different light. Things seem to make more sense now.

Despite all this, I do feel that the distinction between the two (CPTSD and OSDD-1) isn't all that different anyway when it comes to the type of therapy I do or the work I do with my T, so really does it matter what my official label is? It's not like I'm going to start telling people I have OSDD-1 as well as CPTSD (CPTSD is difficult enough to explain, and I normally just say I have PTSD).

Anyway, I'd be interested to hear your thoughts.

My therapist recommended van der Kolk's book to me and I finished it a few months ago. It was a great read. It's got me quite interested in trying neurofeedback at some point, and I've also started trauma-sensitive yoga classes. I've always struggled to stay committed to yoga, but these trauma-sensitive classes have been amazing and I haven't missed one yet.

Welcome, Saule! 

Thanks, mourningdove

Thanks Three Roses.

I too was diagnosed with PTSD a few years ago, probably because CPTSD isn't 'official' ... but my psychologist at the time often referred to 'complex trauma' so I think she saw it as CPTSD. My current therapist calls it CPTSD.

I just finished The Body Keeps the Score a few months ago and it really resonated with me. It made me feel really hopeful and understood. My therapist is a big fan herself and uses a lot of the approaches discussed in the book, so I feel like I'm finally getting on the right track treatment-wise.

I really like what you said "we're not down for the count, just resting", that is a good way of putting it. I do tend to swing between this more constructive mindset and the other that is less pragmatic. It is really helpful to think of it that way, though. Thanks

Hello,

Thanks for having me here. I just stumbled across these forums while Googling the difference between CPTSD and OSDD and thought it would be a good idea to join. It's really great to see a forum dedicated to CPTSD. I've joined another forum before but found it all a bit triggering most of the time so I don't go there very often. Hopefully I can stay around here longer.

I'm at an interesting point in my life at the moment where I have managed to put lots of great things in place to support myself while I heal from the abuse I experienced in my childhood and adolescense. My partner is very understanding and supportive, I've reconnected with a few old friends, I'm going to trauma-sensitive yoga classes and I started seeing a new therapist in Sept who specialises in trauma and various treatment approaches including EMDR. On the flip side I withdrew from my university degree last year and I don't have a job (and don't feel able to get one at this stage). I'm very lucky to have my partner financially supporting me, but I'm plagued by guilt over my inability to do all the things a 'normal' adult does.

It's strange feeling like I've put all these positive things in place in my life, but at the same time feeling like I'm going nowhere.

I also like to knit and crochet, an activity I find very relaxing and rewarding.

I guess that's me for now. I look forward to getting involved more and hearing others' stories.