narckiddo, thank you so for your thoughtfulness and kindness. so appreciated right now. you don't even know.
armee, thanks for such caring support on the cigs. you've put a smile on my face. you're right, i can't fix this, i didn't do it, it's not my fault - that'll be running thru my head all day, thank you) it's just so difficult to see it happening again to my darling D who has worked so hard all her life for her family. i'm so sad she has to witness his behavior hurting her when she's done nothing wrong and D1 has continually hurt all of us.
he's always said he didn't especially like me, but he fell in love w/ D1 when she was a baby. he aligned himself w/ her against me when she was a toddler. one day i was sitting across the room from them, he told her to 'go over and kick your mother in the ankle'. of course we made it into a joke, laughed, but later in life i wondered why he would ask her to do something violent to me instead of give your mom a hug or something sweet like that. ugh!
that's what this is doing - bringing up all these old, painful remembrances. i can still see her toddle across the room toward me. this stuff is implanted, has been pushed back and down numerous times, but something like this? what's happening now? just replaying the same old harmful song. it hurts to see my D have to experience this. i know it's breaking her to watch him do this to her on a request and threat from her sister, even after he's repeatedly told my D he doesn't know why he's put up w/ D1's crapola for so long.
i give my D so much credit for standing up to him, but i know it tore her up inside, cuz she only mentioned she'd heard from him again, something new came up, and they were on the outs now until he makes a decision.
i'm probably repeating myself, i'm just letting this flow out of me, i just got the picture of some tar-like substance in my throat, wanting to spew it out cuz it's choking me.
armee, thanks for such caring support on the cigs. you've put a smile on my face. you're right, i can't fix this, i didn't do it, it's not my fault - that'll be running thru my head all day, thank you) it's just so difficult to see it happening again to my darling D who has worked so hard all her life for her family. i'm so sad she has to witness his behavior hurting her when she's done nothing wrong and D1 has continually hurt all of us.
he's always said he didn't especially like me, but he fell in love w/ D1 when she was a baby. he aligned himself w/ her against me when she was a toddler. one day i was sitting across the room from them, he told her to 'go over and kick your mother in the ankle'. of course we made it into a joke, laughed, but later in life i wondered why he would ask her to do something violent to me instead of give your mom a hug or something sweet like that. ugh!
that's what this is doing - bringing up all these old, painful remembrances. i can still see her toddle across the room toward me. this stuff is implanted, has been pushed back and down numerous times, but something like this? what's happening now? just replaying the same old harmful song. it hurts to see my D have to experience this. i know it's breaking her to watch him do this to her on a request and threat from her sister, even after he's repeatedly told my D he doesn't know why he's put up w/ D1's crapola for so long.
i give my D so much credit for standing up to him, but i know it tore her up inside, cuz she only mentioned she'd heard from him again, something new came up, and they were on the outs now until he makes a decision.
i'm probably repeating myself, i'm just letting this flow out of me, i just got the picture of some tar-like substance in my throat, wanting to spew it out cuz it's choking me.