Hello.
Ummm ... I am new here.
I/we have been reading this site for a week or so now and found it so so helpful. Thank you.
I/we am 51 and diagnosed about 25 or more years ago with CPTSD resulting from childhood stuff. We have worked hard for decades on finding and practising ways to live - like one therapist said to us: 'It is your daily work'.
I/we had some years of relative stability but have again found that I/we are immobilised, isolating, and many of the other acute symptoms of CPTSD are activated. Though not able to do paid work I/we had really come a long way in doing things in the social/public world -writing and mentoring and creating with others etc. So scared of everything falling apart again... It kind of has I guess as I disappeared.
Cut off from friends totally since about November last year and although more able to function - as in do the daily survival stuff - finding the fallout from these last months so difficult to deal with again. The fallout in terms of explaining to people why I disappeared and been hiding, that its not that I don't like them, that I cannot control it when this takes over us all etc etc. The sense of being unreliable and the sense of deflation that the projects been working on will fall apart totally.
I/we did find the article on the blog about relational trauma responses and how this affects current in/abilities to form and maintain friendships really helpful. Somehow in reading this it helped all of us who exist in 'me' to calm a bit.
Anyway, this intro is a kind of first reaching out in a space that seems safe.
Just letting you know I have a new therapist so have support.
Don't know if any of this makes sense but hi.
Ummm ... I am new here.
I/we have been reading this site for a week or so now and found it so so helpful. Thank you.
I/we am 51 and diagnosed about 25 or more years ago with CPTSD resulting from childhood stuff. We have worked hard for decades on finding and practising ways to live - like one therapist said to us: 'It is your daily work'.
I/we had some years of relative stability but have again found that I/we are immobilised, isolating, and many of the other acute symptoms of CPTSD are activated. Though not able to do paid work I/we had really come a long way in doing things in the social/public world -writing and mentoring and creating with others etc. So scared of everything falling apart again... It kind of has I guess as I disappeared.
Cut off from friends totally since about November last year and although more able to function - as in do the daily survival stuff - finding the fallout from these last months so difficult to deal with again. The fallout in terms of explaining to people why I disappeared and been hiding, that its not that I don't like them, that I cannot control it when this takes over us all etc etc. The sense of being unreliable and the sense of deflation that the projects been working on will fall apart totally.
I/we did find the article on the blog about relational trauma responses and how this affects current in/abilities to form and maintain friendships really helpful. Somehow in reading this it helped all of us who exist in 'me' to calm a bit.
Anyway, this intro is a kind of first reaching out in a space that seems safe.
Just letting you know I have a new therapist so have support.
Don't know if any of this makes sense but hi.