Messages

Thank you.
Those Trigger always really hurts, and to be close to s.o. everyday is hard. I mean, I just would like to have a normal day with good experiences that I can use against the bad. Being triggered is always very exhausting. It is hard to know that I am social and I need people in my life. I still don't think it is that great, zu be honest.

It's hard to connect with others. And, whenever I do, it doesn't feel real, never connected. It feels like I am always apart. Even from myself. And not right and welcome in this world. I had wrong friendships, tried hard to have contacts and didn't choose wisely in the past. The only good contact: my therapist, and some people from the helping system. Professionals. Better than nothing, I am glad to have them.

I'm glad about this post. Thanks for the discussion. I feel the same about other people. It never feels really good to be with others, But it is hard to be this alone.

I don't have a job at the moment and sometimes I am very frightened to leave my flat. So I had weeks in which I didn't talk to anyone for days and that is really hard for me. I have this music group from church, and I tried to get in contact with the people there. Some were even nice and friendly, but I always have that feeling that I just can't connect to others. It always goes wrong in several ways.

People don't understand me and I can't really talk about it, I often have no words , I don't know how to express myself. And I had some problems with people, who started to be judgemental and unfair in that group. Even those who like me run out of patience somehow. I also feel ashamed very often and I even had to face feelings of rage and jealousy. It looks like I am not an easy-going person and I have lots of thoughts about it. Mostly, that I am wrong and just don't fit it. Low self-esteem. 

that I have at least one friend at the end of the world, that is happy about having me in his life. I still fear that I am going to get hurt again, there are always things triggering me. I will keep my eyes open, it feels like I can never trust anybody again, because I always feel close to the wrong people, nevertheless it is nice to read that she cares.

Hello,
I am around 30 and have to deal with cPTSD.
I hope to get some new ideas and kind of a connection around here.
Greetings to all.