Thank you both. I think I will send him a letter talking about it... I'm better at expressing my feelings through text. It's a lot to consider I guess. I think I'll wait to raise the issue again until he's off at college, so he has some distance from our parents.
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#2
Family / My Brother and Me ** Trigger Warning Physical abuse **
April 19, 2019, 01:14:20 AM
Hello,
I am in need of some advice. I'm afraid I don't know much terminology but I will explain the best I can. Warnings for some description of physical and emotional child abuse.
I was always really close with my brother, who is a year younger than me. We got along exceptionally well, in part because my father was really tough on him, and I felt I needed to protect him. I was the responsible older sister from a young age. My brother, R, was kind of a goofball, had OCD and was on the autism spectrum. My dad couldn't stand his odd mannerisms and would punish him by making him run laps or do push-ups, even in public places. He never did any of this to me, although I was just as peculiar as my younger brother. I was just better at hiding it, I guess.
This culminated when my dad was screaming at my brother, who was hiding his face on his bed. My dad grabbed him by the arm and threw him on the floor. My mom made him do therapy after that. He stopped physically punishing my brother so much then, but he'd still scream at us. He would do it off and on until I was about seventeen.
I've tried talking about this with my brother, because it was horribly upsetting and scary to me as a child, but he doesn't feel like he was abused. He has told me that he doesn't think of himself as the victim in those situations. He's eighteen now, and he's been in a series of bad relationships and was diagnosed with depression. I know what we went through must have messed him up, if it messed me up, but he just doesn't recognize it I guess.
I suppressed my feelings on it for a long time, and I guess he must be doing the same. I just wish we could talk about it together I guess. It's really upsetting to me that he's the one who was suffering the most and yet he acts like there was nothing unusual about our childhood. I'm afraid that he'll repeat my father's mistakes is he doesn't recognize them as such.
I don't know. I guess I'm just not sure how to broach the subject with him. Our relationship has weakened significantly since we were children, and now when we see each other we don't really talk at all. I'm not sure I can bring up anything serious. Is there any good way to talk about this with him?
I am in need of some advice. I'm afraid I don't know much terminology but I will explain the best I can. Warnings for some description of physical and emotional child abuse.
I was always really close with my brother, who is a year younger than me. We got along exceptionally well, in part because my father was really tough on him, and I felt I needed to protect him. I was the responsible older sister from a young age. My brother, R, was kind of a goofball, had OCD and was on the autism spectrum. My dad couldn't stand his odd mannerisms and would punish him by making him run laps or do push-ups, even in public places. He never did any of this to me, although I was just as peculiar as my younger brother. I was just better at hiding it, I guess.
This culminated when my dad was screaming at my brother, who was hiding his face on his bed. My dad grabbed him by the arm and threw him on the floor. My mom made him do therapy after that. He stopped physically punishing my brother so much then, but he'd still scream at us. He would do it off and on until I was about seventeen.
I've tried talking about this with my brother, because it was horribly upsetting and scary to me as a child, but he doesn't feel like he was abused. He has told me that he doesn't think of himself as the victim in those situations. He's eighteen now, and he's been in a series of bad relationships and was diagnosed with depression. I know what we went through must have messed him up, if it messed me up, but he just doesn't recognize it I guess.
I suppressed my feelings on it for a long time, and I guess he must be doing the same. I just wish we could talk about it together I guess. It's really upsetting to me that he's the one who was suffering the most and yet he acts like there was nothing unusual about our childhood. I'm afraid that he'll repeat my father's mistakes is he doesn't recognize them as such.
I don't know. I guess I'm just not sure how to broach the subject with him. Our relationship has weakened significantly since we were children, and now when we see each other we don't really talk at all. I'm not sure I can bring up anything serious. Is there any good way to talk about this with him?
#3
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Hello
April 19, 2019, 12:50:22 AM
I wanted to join a community for people with CPTSD, as my therapist diagnosed me with it last year, and I haven't really done anything about it until now. Well, things piled up and eventually I couldn't suppress my feelings about what happened when I was a kid any more.
I probably won't be on much, because it's really scary for me to deal with these parts of my past, but I'm going to try to make an effort.
I probably won't be on much, because it's really scary for me to deal with these parts of my past, but I'm going to try to make an effort.
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