Messages

I am an older male trying to survive child SA at less than 2 years old. Unfortunately my trigger is having sex with my girlfriend. We love to love and  take turns leading but I will have have SA memories even having sex. Needless to say, I hate the flash back.

My attempt to stop the depression is running 6 miles. I run and work out to be attractive on the dance floor but I am afraid of women I meet. So I attract what I'm trying to flush out of my mind.
Or an I missing something?

I am also wondering about aging. I am in my seventies and feel much worse than decades ago or that is what I think is true but not sure.

Age has brought me concern about how long I will live and if I can afford to avoid living on the streets as I see a significant number of people doing even in this relatively well to do community.

Do these concerns bother you? This may be  a clew.

Best,
gypsydancer