Messages

Hey

I'm new here but I was diagnosed with BPD and then CPTSD- so thought I'd join in this discussion. I went through DBT (dialectical behaviour therapy) and noticed that I wasn't very similar to the most of the people in the group but did have lots of struggles that were the same. I don't have anger issues (aside from towards myself), I have high levels of empathy, get along well with others, and am extremely emotionally sensitive. The DBT didn't really help me, although I learned some skills that I hope I still use. Now I'm in psychotherapy talking through my upsetting memories and the personality disorder thing isn't mentioned at all.

It's hard to know if the initial diagnosis of BPD was correct or not. The thing is, a personality disorder isn't necessarily a life long condition anyway- so maybe I wouldn't meet the criteria now. BPD is hugely stigmatised and there are some horrific things I've read online. People say you should never be in a relationship with someone who has BPD, they are liars, reactive and have no empathy but that's just not true. I'm extremely kind, caring and loving, I just struggle with life because of my very difficult start in it.

I would be reluctant to declare the BPD label to people who know me but would be ok admitting the CPTSD, so I guess it mostly does come down to the aforementioned stigma. They are similar conditions in lots of ways.

I do know what you mean.  I have not met anyone face to face.  However, I admit I have a image of ever person here I am close to.  I am so sure I am way off base, but who knows.  IDK, maybe Kizzie has curly hair 

What you are describing sounds to me like your inner child.  I have to remind myself that I am an adult and need to think adult.    I am not going to get in trouble, I don't have to keep secrets, I am not going to be disowned.  I also have to remind myself to be gentle to my inner child, not to abuse her in any way.  Then I let my inner child hold the stuffed animal and I am okay with it.  We get stuck in trauma and that is okay.  I feel like I got stuck at 6, so I try to have compassion.

How interesting- I actually have curly hair lol.

I want to join a face to face group in London but it's not easy finding one specifically for CPTSD. I'm super pleased to have found this forum though.

I don't know if it's my inner child but when I lived alone I felt like an 8 year old who had been abandoned and I was terrified. I didn't have a lot of nurturing growing up- so I guess my brain doesn't know I'm no longer a child. Of course I pretend to be an adult, so no one would suspect, but it's not how I feel on the inside.

Hi to you too Three Roses btw

Hi Dee

Thanks so much for taking the time to reply. Have you managed to find a face to face support group too? I'd very much like to talk to other people who understand. I'm similar to you in that I hide my sadness from other people- at least I think that's what you were saying? It's so difficult now being an adult when my childhood was fraught with abuse and trauma. It's like my brain doesn't know I've grown up and I wander around the world like a lost little girl. Do you know what I mean?

Hey! I'm new to this forums/website. I'm currently in therapy for C-PTSD (and other things). I'm female and based in London, uk. Was trying to find a face to face support group but ended up here instead.

I find it immensely difficult not knowing anyone who can understand and relate to the struggles I experience every day. I have loads of friends but don't experience the feeling of closeness to others- I never have. It's like I'm behind a sheet of glass- other people can see me and I can see them but there's a barrier and I'm on my own on the other side. Does anyone relate to this? I wouldn't wish my pain on anyone but if there is another person who understands out there and has the time to get in touch, I would be so grateful.

Thanks!