Messages

to abusers everywhere - BITE ME!!! 

INDEED! 

i totally agree with candid - let others feel sorry for the abusers of the world if they so wish.  let them forgive them if they want to.  if it doesn't work for me, then it's not mine to do.  like you said,  rubyfog, you didn't create the abusers, that belongs to someone else. 

your anger is valid and valuable for your health, well-being, and recovery.  we honor that anger here, and celebrate you being able to release it.  ricepen did a great job of an angry rant in support!!  and, i'll just add this to abusers everywhere - BITE ME!!!   big hug to you.

Thank you for the hug and reassurance!  Bite me!!!  :bigwink:def. a bit of a laugh for me there! I kept thinking of bender from Futurama!

Invalidation of our experience is abuse, Rubyfog.
yes...sigh

Oh wait... There's plenty of evidence here on the forum that there are good people out there. 'All' we need to do is change ourselves, adjust our radars so we find or attract them IRL as well. Easier said than done, right?
about as easy as Shakespearian dinner theater whilst sky diving!!!


I too feel outraged when someone I've confided in automatically defends the abuser they've never met. Let others sympathise with them; what we need is compassion from the people around us, and compassion for ourselves. I can do that on a good day... until someone bursts in on my inner dialogue and tells me to stop feeling sorry for myself.
Days on days off...a bit like wax on wax off! I find it very difficult to pund out the compassion whilst the bullying is happening!


The idea is to practise self-validation. We can practise that on the forum, with help from other members. But yes, bouts of anger are normal. I wish I had such bouts! instead of constant irritability towards myself and others.
This is very validating thank you! It's so awful (because it happened to you too) and so good to know I'm not entirely alone in this!



I'm stuck on what healing might look like, never mind a timeline. I believe it's a lifelong process, especially for the older ones among us, but that every small gain improves our experience of life. That's what we're looking for: incremental improvement.
Yes, that I can do...only problem is sometimes I overlook it!

yer, CPTSD is a pain in the *, I wish it would just hurry the F*** up and stop messing with me.
So yeah you are not alone. It's annoing and frustraiting. I want to just get over things, but will my head, nope.
And your stalker is an *. He or she was week and there is no time for weekness. Its not for you to suffer for there weekness.

Anyway I hope my rant helps yours, lol. You are not alone and we feel you.

Yes It helps quite a bit! Thank you for replying! My thoughts exactly on hurry the ^&*% up already!

Welcome, Rubyfog.

Apologies for what must have seemed like a bewildering threadjack in this thread
I have no idea how my reply to Mourningdove, in a different topic, came to be posted here.  I had never read any of this topic until today.

I tend to assume my running Windows Vista is responsible for almost all weird computer things I encounter.

No worries I could sus that it was a post replying to another post. 

This is a vent post...There are days when things feel simply hopeless...when I turn the anger back in and on myself. I can be doing very well...and then someone will suggest that what I have experienced is simply too dark to deal with whilst simultaneously telling me that my reactions...usually anger or deep sorrow only serves to aggrandize the person who targeted me. What I hear then...emotionally speaking...is that I ought to pretend that I'm Ok...indeed need to pretend it's ok to protect my family from further trauma. So I do....this, of course, warps the anger back around whilst I stumble about re-evaluating whatever progress, thought, or emotion I am experiencing. The single most frustrating thing I hear is how the abuser must have suffered to get to where they are...pathologically speaking...and I get that...but...I'm angry as well...because I didn't  deserve, cause or create the stalker...and I have to allow myself some anger If I'm going to heal up...I feel like it's a part of taking back my power. Is healing possible with a small amount/ zero validation...and are bouts of anger normal?? What does a timeline for healing look like to folks. I moved and went radio silent a bit less than a year ago.

the isolation for me has been interminable. I hold most of what I feel and experience in an internal space/to myself...because the experiences are so dark they culminate in secondary trauma for those who are closest to me. The person who targeted me also stalks me electronically and set up my phone for ease of monitoring. I write, draw and cry a lot. I do all the things I used to do and some new things as well...but the invisible barrier remains...social awkwardness...trust issues...Do you find it's getting any better 7yrs out?

Well tks so much for wading in to help Mourningdove!   

Welcome Ruby 

Hihi!!!

Thanks Think I got it!

I'm new in and noted that some users are able to be hidden when online. I'd really like to know how to do that. Secondly I have no idea how to add an avatar...any advice very welcome'd
Thanks