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Thank you I think God decided to pour His mercy and grace on me this morning. All three girls made the bus with no arguments or problems. This time yesterday morning, I was losing my cool and my mind. This morning, I am laying in bed beside my snoring husband while I type this.

It's the little things...

This morning, I experienced a full fledged panic attack. I can't remember the last time that happened. I have a very vocal 13 y/o daughter. She has a very narcissistic personality like her father did. Her father was a very abusive...physically, emotionally, verbally, and psychologically...man. She is just like him now. She fusses and belittles everyone. She has my youngest daughter convinced that I do not love her...my 11 y/o. ASC has manipulated ALC into thinking that ASC is the only one in our family who loves ALC.

ALC is my baby. We have been through alot together. She has alot of health problems and we have been through the wringer...her and I. We have been very close because of that. Now ASC has turned her against me.

I took all three girls to school this morning and the 13 y/o (ASC) belittled me and cussed me and walked all over me the whole way. She got the 11 y/o (ALC) to agree with her. She made my 16 y/o daughter (HDC) very angry because HDC knew it was getting to me.

I almost ran over the school resource officer, who was directing school traffic, because I was fuming and didn't see him. After I rolled down my window and apologized profusely, I broke down and started bawling. I wept through the whole carline. I wept the whole way to the high school and through that line. By the time I exited the high school, I was weeping and hyperventilating. I managed to drive home where I did not get out of my vehicle for over an hour because I was weeping, hyperventilating, and shaking.

ASC showed no remorse when she got home from school. ALC was loving as that precious girl used to be. She had broke down in the carline this morning as I wept because she didn't want me to cry. ASC saw it as me having a pity party. She's just like her father. I thought the abuse died when he died, but it's still here.

Thanks y'all. I want to cry reading your responses because I have already been an emotional wreck today.

Hi. My name is Angela. I am a 37 y/o married mom of three girls and I am a volunteer firefighter. I was diagnosed several years ago with C-PTSD after a lifetime of childhood sexual abuse, neglect, and ten years of a very abusive marriage followed by his death from the effects of alcoholism.

I take medication for anxiety and depression. I suffer from trichotillomania...the hair pulling disease. I am a very anxious and angry person with a lot of fears and phobias.

I am trying to be a good mom, wife, friend, and public servant. It's really difficult to be a good, productive member of society with all of this going on. I look forward to being a part of this group. Thanks.