Topics

Hello all, my Dad has just been diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease. He has had a tremor for years and years, but over last 24 months or more had been gradually slowing down, but then had a really rapid deterioration from January this year onwards. He can walk using frame, but is unable to do much self-care and needs a lot of support. Unfortunately my FOO includes my NM - and it is her behaviour from my earliest childhood onwards that is the cause of my CPTSD. As you might imagine, she is finding my Dad's illness really difficult to deal with. They can afford to buy anything they need and pay for carers but of course she questions everything me and my siblings suggest that might help. Even to the extent of questioning his need for a second plastic urinal bottle in case he needs to use it twice during the night. When I went round this morning to check on Dad I discovered she had turned the heating off in his bedroom and it was freezing in there. It feels like deliberate cruelty. She also said "he soon complains if anything isn't right" in a really mean way. My Dad is so vulnerable now, I feel so worried and don't know how to handle my mum. I'd really welcome any advice you have. Dad has never stood up to Mum all their marriage - she has always belittled him in front of others and been incredibly mean about allowing him to spend money on anything he wants, so I realise some things are never going to change, but just need some strategies for how best to deal with things right now. Thank you.

I just posted this link in my journal but thought it might be helpful to share here as well. From reading this forum I have come to realise I may have a narcissistic mother. Anyway I found this article helpful:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/eating-mindfully/201804/how-survive-narcissistic-mother

I am starting Spring 2021 by working through Arielle Schwartz's 'The Complex PTSD Workbook'.

I read it through from start to finish last week, and I feel like there's a lot of useful stuff there.

I've now re-read the Introduction and there are two parts that I want to hold in my mind as I go forward.

First, "Healing childhood trauma involves a balance: attending to the wounds of the past while living in the present."

Second: "You are not broken, in need of fixing. Rather, you are deeply hurt, in need of care."

I've been working from home since mid-March last year, I had three and a half months on furlough in the middle which was a blessing as I was so stressed out. Feeling so anxious while working from home has made me realise that I just feel this anxious and hypervigilant all the time and have done since I was a child which is a long old time now I am past 45 years old! When I get really bad I sometimes start to feel really spaced out and might have an accident (usually tripping or falling) and hurting myself. Anyway, I am feeling really stressed out right now as trying to concentrate on work, but found a lump 5-6 weeks ago, and saw doctor on Friday who made urgent referral to hospital to check it out so I am expecting them to call in next 24 hours. I'm pretty sure it's nothing serious but I feel anxious about it. I had surgery twice when I was in my mid to late twenties and six weeks of radiotherapy. I had terrible panic attacks after surgery but I'm pretty well in control of panic attacks now. But going to GP and hospitals I find traumatic. 

Hello OOTS people, I have CPTSD. I found that out just over 2 years ago, but I don't always remember it's the reason why I struggle with life sometimes. I read Pete Walker's book and it was my 'ah' moment. Along with my doctor, occupational health doctor & therapist. But I still forget that my symptoms are because of CPTSD which goes back to my childhood. It's really important for me to remember the cause of my symptoms  because it brings me relief - there's a reason why I think, feel and behave the way I do, it does all make sense, and maybe, just maybe, I can change it a little bit for some of the time, and just relax and be me (not sure I really know who that is but...). So thank you for being here and letting me learn/share with you all.