I don't know what caused this for me. My mother is overbearing... extremely opinionated and nothing is ever good enough. I can remember being coached before social occasions on how to behave, what I could and could not say. If we did anything to embarrass our mother she would emotionally wreck us. I would cry and would be so emotionally destroyed by her words that I literally could not think or speak. She still does this to me at 35 years old.
My real father is an addict. My step father is addicted to almost every drug and was very abusive to my mother. Not me, but I was always afraid.
My husband of 17 years never hit me, but he put me through every other form of abuse and I cannot write about it or I will have panic attack. I had attacks for 4 years to the point that I could barely live anymore. 3-4 a day. I used to cuddle up to my kids at night and try to calm down or otherwise I would pace with my phone in sheer panic ready to call 911.
I got away from my husband after fixing myself. Got daycare, a better job, vehicle so that I could leave. It took over a year. I met my boyfriend at the tail end of my marriage.
My boyfriend and I were amazing together until a year ago. He began triggering me by making similar comments my ex did. I would panic, the anxiety was unreal and I would explode. I started slamming my head into walls when we would fight sometimes because he just kept accusing me of things I didn't do. Cant write too much about that either, except my boyfriend went into a delusional psychosis so now I am dealing with that and am very torn... he has moved out and I want to work things out and so does he, but his beliefs are very strong and I cannot keep from being triggered by accusations.
I just started therapy have 6 children and am 8 months pregnant. I am in financial ruin and my mother has been helping. Problem is she is so negative and pushy and forceful with me I feel I would rather be homeless than have to hear her anymore. She was on me last night for 3 hours and I end up just balling my eyes out, hyperventilating, and agreeing to whatever she says. I have not been able to stop crying all day today and I feel so tired that my mind is moving slow. I cant focus. Its because she was telling me such awful things. Like to give my baby up for adoption that everyone would be happier, that she wants to have me committed, that I am an awful mother, and a lot of stuff about my bf.
Accusations can wreck me. I cant cope with anything, I am a doormat, I have no idea who I am, and I don't know how I feel about stuff most of the time. I cant make decisions, ugh... I hope I can figure this out.
My real father is an addict. My step father is addicted to almost every drug and was very abusive to my mother. Not me, but I was always afraid.
My husband of 17 years never hit me, but he put me through every other form of abuse and I cannot write about it or I will have panic attack. I had attacks for 4 years to the point that I could barely live anymore. 3-4 a day. I used to cuddle up to my kids at night and try to calm down or otherwise I would pace with my phone in sheer panic ready to call 911.
I got away from my husband after fixing myself. Got daycare, a better job, vehicle so that I could leave. It took over a year. I met my boyfriend at the tail end of my marriage.
My boyfriend and I were amazing together until a year ago. He began triggering me by making similar comments my ex did. I would panic, the anxiety was unreal and I would explode. I started slamming my head into walls when we would fight sometimes because he just kept accusing me of things I didn't do. Cant write too much about that either, except my boyfriend went into a delusional psychosis so now I am dealing with that and am very torn... he has moved out and I want to work things out and so does he, but his beliefs are very strong and I cannot keep from being triggered by accusations.
I just started therapy have 6 children and am 8 months pregnant. I am in financial ruin and my mother has been helping. Problem is she is so negative and pushy and forceful with me I feel I would rather be homeless than have to hear her anymore. She was on me last night for 3 hours and I end up just balling my eyes out, hyperventilating, and agreeing to whatever she says. I have not been able to stop crying all day today and I feel so tired that my mind is moving slow. I cant focus. Its because she was telling me such awful things. Like to give my baby up for adoption that everyone would be happier, that she wants to have me committed, that I am an awful mother, and a lot of stuff about my bf.
Accusations can wreck me. I cant cope with anything, I am a doormat, I have no idea who I am, and I don't know how I feel about stuff most of the time. I cant make decisions, ugh... I hope I can figure this out.