Had my second session with psychotherapist and psychologist, has to bed one of the hardest days. So after 30 years of wondering what the * was wrong with me I got told after first session I have extreme cptsd and disassociation. After last session I've been told I suffer from bpd on top of everything else. Have been having really bad emotional flashbacks and nightmares. Have been put on Valium to help with my day to day anxiety (which does bugger all). I am so confused, angry and feel like I'll never know who I am. I live most days in a fog like nothings real or I can't remember doing simple things like cooking dinner. I find it difficult to talk about my childhood as I don't remember alot. I know I had a very narcissistic mother and a father the at was physically and emotionally never there, my mother stood by while my brother physically and mentally abused me for my whole childhood. I don't talk about the stuff I remember as they are bad triggers and ortho I want to get better and be able to live a semi happy life, by talking to therapists scares the living crap out of me. Does anyone have any advice in how to handle the feelings of fear/anger?
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