I wanted to introduce myself.
You may call me Wisteria.
Being online has been my sanctuary for communication and self-expression.
Words are something that come easily to me when faced with a blank sheet and a quiet desperation to be witnessed.
I have just received an official diagnosis for Autism Spectrum Disorder and Complex trauma. I have mixed feelings about the latter, but I think I have known that I was neurodivergent as far back as I can remember...
Granted, my memory is fragmented and often out of order.
I am here to understand my diagnosis of C-PTSD and learning how to heal from a short, but potent, lifetime of the trauma of which I did indeed perceive as inescapable...
I am hopeful that I can also develop a sense of self-efficacy and a routine regarding self-care.
I am looking to utilize resources as tools for myself, as defined by myself and no one else.
I am looking to develop receptivity toward mutual relations, and how to identify if someone is a predator or toxic, so to speak; how to utilize the tool of letting go and/or walking away/trying to explain "why". I would deeply like to teach myself self-preservation.
I am also really, earnestly trying to parse what it means to be loved outside of occupying the position of "Scapegoat" as a child and subsequent difficulty with romantic/sexual relationships and abusive power dynamics...I guess what I am trying to say is that I have experienced both childhood abuse and domestic violence. unfortunately.
I am questioning my sexuality, and if I am gray-aromantic (do I experience romantic attraction on a limited, specific basis?)
I don't really know what else to say. I'm starting, though, and that's a...start? oof
Wisteria
You may call me Wisteria.
Being online has been my sanctuary for communication and self-expression.
Words are something that come easily to me when faced with a blank sheet and a quiet desperation to be witnessed.
I have just received an official diagnosis for Autism Spectrum Disorder and Complex trauma. I have mixed feelings about the latter, but I think I have known that I was neurodivergent as far back as I can remember...
Granted, my memory is fragmented and often out of order.
I am here to understand my diagnosis of C-PTSD and learning how to heal from a short, but potent, lifetime of the trauma of which I did indeed perceive as inescapable...
I am hopeful that I can also develop a sense of self-efficacy and a routine regarding self-care.
I am looking to utilize resources as tools for myself, as defined by myself and no one else.
I am looking to develop receptivity toward mutual relations, and how to identify if someone is a predator or toxic, so to speak; how to utilize the tool of letting go and/or walking away/trying to explain "why". I would deeply like to teach myself self-preservation.
I am also really, earnestly trying to parse what it means to be loved outside of occupying the position of "Scapegoat" as a child and subsequent difficulty with romantic/sexual relationships and abusive power dynamics...I guess what I am trying to say is that I have experienced both childhood abuse and domestic violence. unfortunately.
I am questioning my sexuality, and if I am gray-aromantic (do I experience romantic attraction on a limited, specific basis?)
I don't really know what else to say. I'm starting, though, and that's a...start? oof
Wisteria