Hello! I understand that this website is meant for adults with PTSD, but I find the information on here to be helpful, so I hope I'm welcome (I'm 15)
My therapist has diagnosed me with complex PTSD, and I've had a really hard time accepting it.
I like to believe I had a good life until I was 5, when my mother met my stepfather. Up until I was 10, my stepfather abused me and my new brother both physically and emotionally.
When i was 10 he went to prison, and not long after my brother, newborn sister, and I were taken away by CPS, and taken to an aunts house. My aunt didn't want to keep me, I think because I was too old, and sent me away. I went to 3 more abusive households before I finally wound up in my current home a few months ago. My aunt still has my siblings, who she hardly ever allows me to see. Since I'm now in an environment where I'm happy, my "fight or flight" response is going away slowly, and because I am no longer fearful, my repressed memories have had time to come back, and I have hated every second of it. I always knew i was physically and emotionally abused, but these memories have taught me that i was sexually abused by multiple people as well. I fear leaving the house and have become extremely paranoid that if i do someone is going to hurt me, I've begun doing most of my schoolwork at home, and I'm fearful that things are only going to get worse. I still have 10 years of my life I dint remember, and quite frankly, I don't want to.
Any help or advise would be greatly appreciated! thank you
My therapist has diagnosed me with complex PTSD, and I've had a really hard time accepting it.
I like to believe I had a good life until I was 5, when my mother met my stepfather. Up until I was 10, my stepfather abused me and my new brother both physically and emotionally.
When i was 10 he went to prison, and not long after my brother, newborn sister, and I were taken away by CPS, and taken to an aunts house. My aunt didn't want to keep me, I think because I was too old, and sent me away. I went to 3 more abusive households before I finally wound up in my current home a few months ago. My aunt still has my siblings, who she hardly ever allows me to see. Since I'm now in an environment where I'm happy, my "fight or flight" response is going away slowly, and because I am no longer fearful, my repressed memories have had time to come back, and I have hated every second of it. I always knew i was physically and emotionally abused, but these memories have taught me that i was sexually abused by multiple people as well. I fear leaving the house and have become extremely paranoid that if i do someone is going to hurt me, I've begun doing most of my schoolwork at home, and I'm fearful that things are only going to get worse. I still have 10 years of my life I dint remember, and quite frankly, I don't want to.
Any help or advise would be greatly appreciated! thank you