It's taken me 24 hours to write this, because I never know what to say to people. My life sounds ridiculous.
I'm Mary. I was sexually abused throughout my childhood by 3 different men. My first husband went to prison for child molestation of an 8 year old neighbor kid. My second husband was very emotionally abusive. My mother blamed me for being raped when I was 12, and would always tell me how I screwed everything up. She's bullied me my entire life, and tried to get me fired from my job on several occasions. When I was 36, I was stalked by a 69 year old bipolar man for 9 months and they couldn't stop him because I worked in a government office at the time and all the laws are designed to make government open to the people. It took him calling 5 different politicians that were trying to protect me and threatening to kill them and their families before he was finally arrested.
So yeah, I have CPTSD and I know it's not going away. I was coping pretty well for a while, but over the past year I've had some good days, a lot of not-so-good days, and back-to-back weeks of flashbacks and crashing and burning. I completed therapy back in January 2013, and I know what's going on when I start crashing, but it's becoming more severe and happening more frequently. I was trying to find a local support group, but the closest one I could find was 2 hours away. So I thought I'd give this a try and see if it helps.
I'm Mary. I was sexually abused throughout my childhood by 3 different men. My first husband went to prison for child molestation of an 8 year old neighbor kid. My second husband was very emotionally abusive. My mother blamed me for being raped when I was 12, and would always tell me how I screwed everything up. She's bullied me my entire life, and tried to get me fired from my job on several occasions. When I was 36, I was stalked by a 69 year old bipolar man for 9 months and they couldn't stop him because I worked in a government office at the time and all the laws are designed to make government open to the people. It took him calling 5 different politicians that were trying to protect me and threatening to kill them and their families before he was finally arrested.
So yeah, I have CPTSD and I know it's not going away. I was coping pretty well for a while, but over the past year I've had some good days, a lot of not-so-good days, and back-to-back weeks of flashbacks and crashing and burning. I completed therapy back in January 2013, and I know what's going on when I start crashing, but it's becoming more severe and happening more frequently. I was trying to find a local support group, but the closest one I could find was 2 hours away. So I thought I'd give this a try and see if it helps.