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just wondering if anyone here is dealing with this? ANP, EP's?

:trigger:

I have an EP that is SUI, and it is freaking me out. I do not feel this way as ANP.

Therapist asked what is it like in the moment for me, or if I was living in the moment more, something like that. I think I described words for past, present and future. she then commented on the fact that I called the present disgusting. I don't remember saying that, and I mean the words would have just came out of my mouth. I mean I think I said it when I try to remember it's like a floating memory, can't be sure I really said it.
I don't think I dissociate, tho T has questioned me on the fact that It might be a possibility that I do and have more than I think. but, if I am not aware that I do, how would I know?

ETA: I ran into a friend a while ago, and she knew that I was separated from ex, but I didn't know she knew this because it's not something I told her. apparently I did have an entire conversation with her last year, and told her then, and I can't remember that, at all!  so, as I said, had I not of ran into her I would have no idea, if that is, dissociation?

Is the inner critic the critical voices one hears? Are they thoughts or voices? how can you tell? what do you do about it? thanks.

(moderator edit: Formatting edit. (cleared the 'empty spaces' (returns), not the content of the post itself) )

I've been seeing a trauma T for the past 17 months. working thru coping with trauma related dissociation at the moment. happy to find this forum.