Hi, I think maybe I keep dissociating today but I'm not sure. I have dissociated before but not always in the same way.
Earlier I was triggered, started having flashbacks in form of intrusive images and emotional flashback. It felt too much emotionally so I tried to shut it out of my mind. I struggled to ground but did eventually through focusing on my breathing. But on and off since whenever I stop and my mind isn't busy, i start to feel triggered and it's like my mind can't handle it and it's trying to keep the thoughts/emotions out. My mind goes blank, I can't think, in a way I feel numb. It's like two separate parts in my mind. Part is on autopilot so can get on with things but other part is far aware and numb and I can't/don't want to access what's there as emotionally feels like it will be too much. It's so weird and exhausting.
Earlier I was triggered, started having flashbacks in form of intrusive images and emotional flashback. It felt too much emotionally so I tried to shut it out of my mind. I struggled to ground but did eventually through focusing on my breathing. But on and off since whenever I stop and my mind isn't busy, i start to feel triggered and it's like my mind can't handle it and it's trying to keep the thoughts/emotions out. My mind goes blank, I can't think, in a way I feel numb. It's like two separate parts in my mind. Part is on autopilot so can get on with things but other part is far aware and numb and I can't/don't want to access what's there as emotionally feels like it will be too much. It's so weird and exhausting.