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Okay, let me explain better. I'm not always good at wording things because I'm autistic, let me know if anything doesn't make sense and I'll clarify.

I've been diagnosed since the third grade, but my dad still didn't believe I was autistic until earlier this year. He used to scream that I want autistic to my face before yelling at me for stimming or other things I did because I was autistic.

He yelled at me a lot. He knew I was sensitive to loud noises (another autistic trait) but he did it anyway. Then he would yell at me for crying, which made me cry harder.

I love my dad, but that's not acceptable behavior. It's also not acceptable for him to say he never did that when I call him out on it.

I don't know anymore.

I think my dad is emotionally abusive, but I'm not sure. I've been going back and forth on it for years, but I still feel like I'm faking and I don't know what to do. Why am I like this? Please help me, I need an answer so my brain will stop oppessing over this.

This is stupid. I'm stupid. I'm sorry