Hi badmemories.
Your post really set me thinking.
Like you, I have lived in a small town for twenty years and definitely still feel like I don't belong. Like you, I have never felt I belonged. Scapegoat in my family, bullied at school, never fitted in whilst working. So no surprise that I never feel I belong in this town.
However, I was really interested to note how you feel you know little about other people, whereas I have realised that I know a lot about people who don't even know I exist.
Since getting a dog, I have got out more and met more people. Often I know who these people are, who their children are etc, etc. But when I say I remember them, for example, their children were at school with mine and we chatted occasionally, they seem to have no recollection of me.
It's sort of the opposite of your situation but I feel sure that both our experiences are part of c-ptsd. Perhaps you feel that your world isn't real, whilst I feel like my world and the people in it are real, but I am not real. Sort of opposite sides of the same coin. Both equally unsettling.
I don't really have any advice. I just wanted to say that I understand that feeling of not belonging. I suppose I just try CBT techniques - tell myself it's not personal, many years have passed, everyone is very busy. But this sense of not belonging and not feeling real is really hard to get you head around.
Best wishes.
Libby.
Your post really set me thinking.
Like you, I have lived in a small town for twenty years and definitely still feel like I don't belong. Like you, I have never felt I belonged. Scapegoat in my family, bullied at school, never fitted in whilst working. So no surprise that I never feel I belong in this town.
However, I was really interested to note how you feel you know little about other people, whereas I have realised that I know a lot about people who don't even know I exist.
Since getting a dog, I have got out more and met more people. Often I know who these people are, who their children are etc, etc. But when I say I remember them, for example, their children were at school with mine and we chatted occasionally, they seem to have no recollection of me.
It's sort of the opposite of your situation but I feel sure that both our experiences are part of c-ptsd. Perhaps you feel that your world isn't real, whilst I feel like my world and the people in it are real, but I am not real. Sort of opposite sides of the same coin. Both equally unsettling.
I don't really have any advice. I just wanted to say that I understand that feeling of not belonging. I suppose I just try CBT techniques - tell myself it's not personal, many years have passed, everyone is very busy. But this sense of not belonging and not feeling real is really hard to get you head around.
Best wishes.
Libby.