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Messages - Bee123

#1
Medication / First day on Prozac
August 31, 2017, 11:59:56 AM
Today is the first day I am taking (prescribed) Prozac. First week I supposed to only take half a pill, a full pill on 2nd week and meet with the Psychiatrist on day 14 for a check-up. All these in conjunction with twice a week session with my Therapist/Psychologist.

I was prescribed something 20 years ago, after a couple of weeks, my family found out about it. They threw away the medication and dragged me to see a priest gave me prayer regiment and repent. Since then, regardless of how bad my symptoms are, I never took any medication.

I am nervous about what's ahead of me. I read the side effect, but I also read how the medication could help. I don't want to get addicted, but I also don't want to experience the dark days again.

Wish me luck!
#2
Employment / Re: Quitting and triggered
July 16, 2017, 10:25:07 PM
Quote from: MidnightOwl on June 13, 2017, 03:51:27 AM
Hey...I did it! I quit today and feel really positive about my decision. Thanks for all the support here, it's really helpful! It actually went very well, and though I have to relay this info to a bunch of people, at least the major hurdle is finished.

And as per usual....the build up to it was way more anxious then the actual convo.

Blueberry - Yes! It almost doesn't matter what job it is huh? I thought I could kinda hide out doing part time or fun retail gigs but I found the same dynamics came into play no matter where I worked. Although retail was by far the most catty and competitive.  And yea, I grateful to have some time for reflection and redirection amidst the move...I may have to figure out how to do better marketing/sales and just try to have my own office, would be ideal.
Congratulations on making the decision, MidnightOwl!
I wish you all the very best.
I am still toying with the idea of quitting myself.
#3
Quote from: 89abc123 on May 15, 2017, 06:12:13 AM
Quote from: Dee on May 15, 2017, 05:51:47 AM

Every time I make progress in therapy it is sabotaged by my family.

Exactly. I can relate to this so much! I guess you are right...it's a trade off I suppose. I hate it because Im so happy with where I live and my current therapist.

I hate the idea of starting over again. But I think it's the only solution. The whole family is sick.

Dee & 89abc123,

I know how you feel. We are on the same boat. Twenty years ago I moved thousands of miles away from the big family. Every year when I travel to see them, I am subjected to the trauma. I can't not go see everybody for there are little nieces and nephews I love so much and do not want to miss their early growing up years.


#4
Quote from: wildflower77 on May 18, 2017, 02:53:26 AM
Hello all,

just found this site while looking for answers. Having left a 20 yr abusive marriage two years ago I recently had a breakdown, a bad one and now I have a therapist and md helping me. After reading thru several sites I am realizing that to heal I must remember...that terrifies me. So I came here for knowledge and support.  As I read thru some of the posts I knew I found the right place

Welcome Wildflower77,

I myself new here. Just like you, I found this place after reading through several sites/forum. I also recently had a major breakdown and still trying to work through it, therefore I still can't read most of the posting here, but users are very kind in posting warnings on the subject (Thank you all!).
#5
General Discussion / Re: Sleeping aids
May 19, 2017, 12:41:19 AM
I tried ambien (prescribed), melatonin, and over the counter sleeping aid, but nothing worked...until I found a generic night time cough syrup I found at a supermarket that works like magic to me. My juicy juice  ;)
#6
Once a week in the beginning. But recently I had a "relapse", and I am seeing her twice a week, although there were a couple weeks where I saw her 3 times/week. Unfortunately this therapist is not covered under my insurance, but I still go with her anyway because we connect (I tried 3 in-network therapist and none of them worked for me). Treatment is expensive
#7
Employment / Re: Floating...
May 18, 2017, 01:23:38 PM
Quote from: cTurtl on May 05, 2017, 03:07:01 AM
I feel like I am floating. Nothing makes much sense anymore. I started a new job about a year ago and thought I was doing really well. My review was today and it triggered so many things, I walked out of it. My boss doesn't know about the C-PTSD diagnosis that has a nice backbone of anxiety disorder with it. I am feeling like a failure. I quietly cried my way through work today. I don't want to go on FMLA. I want the C-PTSD to just be a part of me and not control me. Everything I am trying doesn't work. I feel broken and pretty helpless. I was told to not focus on the "needs improvement" items and look at the overall score. Having a needs improvement in being trustworthy was painful. Genuinely painful. I am brutally honest and readily admit when I don't know something. No one was available to actively train me and I had to spend months trying to figure out a job that didn't have any documentation on processes, who to ask, when to ask, any of it. Then, today, I got told I have spent the last year doing it wrong. I walked out because I was frustrated. I am now at not wanting to even go back. I feel like I should quit and just give up. My anxiety episodes have stripped me of my friends. There is the insurmountable feeling of sadness that it just isn't going to get better. I no longer know what to do.

Hi cTurtl,

I was diagnosed late last year after 20+ years thinking I was crazy. I recently had a "relapse" at work. My first (and hopefully last) major one at work. I had to take sick leave, and when it ran out, I had to take FMLA so I can focus on my treatment.
I am contemplating on quitting my job now.

I am sure you have your reason for not wanting to take FMLA, but I think taking some time off from work and focusing on your is a good thing. From what I am experiencing now, it is hard to work while going to therapy 2 - 3 times a week and doing other tasks to help improve my concentration and help me focus.

#8
Quote from: Boatsetsailrose on May 18, 2017, 11:02:18 AM
Hi bee 123
I'd reached a point where I just couldn't carry on and am v grateful that I get sick pay.. so I haven't left as such, yet, but I have made the decision I won't go back to that particular job. Getting long term sick pay gives me a grace period of looking at my options. I can appreciate that not everyone is in this fortunate position.

Are you looking at getting another job or can you have some time off ?
Has the work impacted your mental Health  further ?

Hello boatsetsalerose,
It's good that you have a support system. We only have limited sick pay here anything beyond that is unpaid. (Based on discussion with my T) I started part-time teleworking this week, thinking that might help ease and eventually prepare me to go back to work full time, but from where I stand now... is not looking good.
I love what I do, I am good at it, but the current environment & dynamic at work mimic the exact trauma I had (and still experiencing).
#9
Congratulations on making the decision! I envy you.
I am sure it wasn't easy.
I am currently in that stage... contemplating on quitting my job.




#10
Thank you for posting this.
I am a US federal employee and currently tangled in a web of mess trying to get my FMLA and work accommodation extended without having to disclose my diagnosis and full explanation (as to why I can't concentrate or be around people/co-workers for 8 hours continuously) to my direct supervisor. Even when HR and my therapist are in contact, my supervisor still wants to know.
#11
I understand what you are going through.
I have been away from work for almost 2 weeks now on medical leave due to a recent "flare" at work that leads to a trip to the ER.

Maybe you might want to consider looking for other job or taking a break?  I am currently considering these options as well...
weighing the pros and cons.

I am sorry I can't be helpful, I just want to know that I understand how you are feeling.