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Hello, I too am one of those rare survivors that am married (happily). I have been in counselling for roughly 10 years. At times it hurts so bad that I don't think I  will be able to move on - but that is your brain starting heal itself. It does get better - it never goes away but gets better - more manageable. I am a lot less angry than what I was 10 years ago. It takes time - and finding a professional to talk to is a great start.

Good luck on your long journey.

Hi,

It sounds like you are struggling with what happened. I would highly recommend finding a professional that you can talk to - it's hard to find but once you find a good one it's worth it. I went through a few of them before I found one that works for me. Psychology Today's website has a listing of therapist/counselors ect.  that you can chose from. I have been diagnosed with PTSD ( my Councillor has never called it C-PTSD though) with a side of Dissociative Disorder. It's better to laugh than cry I guess? My situation is long and drawn out - I was neglected in the physical sense, experienced emotional and physical abuse. So, to answer your questions:
1.) Absolutely, it is emotional abuse.
2.) My M is mentally ill ( in my opinion, undiagnosed of course), I am an only child (thank god - no child should have go through any abuse)
3.) I have no idea what I am - but I can tell you this - yes, there is healing. It takes time - possibly the rest of your life but there is healing with help. I have a family. I still have "flashbacks" and some other issues I am sorting out - but it is getting better. Much better than when I was 20, 25, 30 and now (I am in my early 30's) Find someone to help you - that you like and trust- and than be prepared for some pain and being uncomfortable. With that pain comes healing - and you will be survivor - not the victim.

Also, thank you for sharing this. It was very helpful to me to see that I am not alone.