I also have a hard time dealing with general life. When the truth came out about what my family did to me i became public enemy number 1. Majority of my family i have broken contact with. The only person i am stillforced to communicate with is my mother. She is extremely mentally abusive. The problem is that i have been physically disabled since i have been a child. I have to rely on her for money so i can survive. If my friend wouldn't have intervened and got me out of the house when he did i would have killed myself. I started with emdr therapy which didn't work. Talk therapy isn't going much better because i dont trust my therapist. As far as medication there is nothing pharmaceutical that i can take. Last year i was treated for heavy metals poisoning. I almost died from it. Now my body doesn't respond well to medication. I get the worst side effects of everything. I dont deal well with general public. My service dog is a God send to me! If it wasn't for her i couldn't even function. My life is in utter chaos. My support network and family are my friends. I stay with my friends most of the time because I'm afraid to be alone. My whole life all i ever known is people harming me. Mentally, physically, and sexually. I stay with my best friend alot. He is a police officer. I ride the beat with him once a week. I feel safe with him and he feels the same with me. I have been through extensive combat training. I am not afraid of being killed because i dont feel like i have much to live for. I have accepted GOD into my life and I'm not afraid of dyeing because i know I'm going home to heaven! I will gladly give my life for my friends and my country. My life is a living *. I dont know how to deal with most things. Getting shot at is easier for me to deal with then what my family has done to me. Is it wrong to feel that I dont want to deal with serious medical and mental problems any more? By no means am i suicidal. Just tired of living this lifetime of pain and misery.