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Messages - Kraggy

#1
Welcome Patchwork :)
Glad you wrote in and that your here
What a breakthrough you have had. Its wonderful that you could connect with the current T you are seeing and that they earned your trust!
#2
Thanks for chiming in Armee. I read the part where you feel lucky since her health was bad later in life and she did not get past 70. Only a fellow survivor can truly get the pain of that, as in firsthand. And I get it. Funny kids really pick up on things that adults dont even fully understand just how much. I put alot of effort into the nurturing because I could not bear to have anything close to this ever happen to them. Anyway great to hear from you
#3
<< I always really appreciated that she elevated and brought attention to the physical mental and behavioral health impacts of having a parent with mental illness because it feels sometimes like that gets overshadowed by more overt abuse. https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/magazine/magazine_article/launching-a-revolution/
[/quote]>> Thanks Armee for including this link and a little bit of the background.
Interesting, and yes a different type of mental illness (like schizophrenia)   can impact a developing child - it can still have a profound lasting effects. I see what you mean about the more overt PDs (personality disordereds) having profound and more overt effects on childhood and development. Attention is more often paid to this group, sure.
I observed a similar situation in my MIL, who had a father who was full blown paranoid schizophrenic. The next generation was affected profoundly.  It was so prevalent in the genetics, my spouses uncle suffers from it and resides alone with family bringing him food baskets often. He sadly has little to no interaction with outside world. Breaks my heart that this happened to him and we would want to reach out more, but thats another story. Thats a tough one as he refuses professional help.
#4
Welcome Dart, this seems a great place to be able to share what brings you to this forum. Glad you joined.  :heythere:
#5
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: New member
June 15, 2022, 08:52:21 PM
Hi, glad you decided to join and post  :heythere: hope you can find that good support
#6

I am recovering from a covert narcissistic sociopathic Nmom. First I never knew this can actually cause physical ailment in the body, But having lived through this, it makes much more sense now. Also my NPD mother is still trying to get into my life. She wants phone calls. I no longer place them. the last several calls she abuses me to where I start having heart palpitations. I have told one of my siblings I still want to visit with one another but without "mom" because it has deep physical impact upon me and I get faint and  develop heart flutters. Am I allowed to recount what she replied here? Without giving the detail (which I will never forget) The response was out of fear for her life. In other words, the sibling responded by telling me that she was worried our NMom would do something very bad to her if we were to get together without NMom also joining in. Wow. In recalling why this is, I recall quite clearly, there was a long history of us siblings getting together and if NMom heard about it either she (Nmom) deceived her way into being part of the gathering, or started little 'fires' between sibs to ensure the meeting never took place. Thats just the tip pf the iceberg. Her personal vendettas and smearing, and division of the family is astounding let alone the continued targeting and personal attacks.
Therefore,  I have gone severely  LC. I will not give her my current residence. But annually she finds clever ways to get me to spill the beans. I refuse.
Has anyone else tried LC over NC? And if so what is the reason?  Going NC instead of NC at this time, well, its actually out of fear of reprisal. It horrible to know you were only used as a tool and never properly loved let alone nurtured by your own biological mother.
#7
Interesting. I too turn to film and TV sources to study the modus operandi of the coverts and  hidden sociopaths.
Thank you for sharing it. Does H support and validate your  connecting the dots with other stories you saw on there,  as well as your own? Well I am glad you saw it and wrote your thoughts about it here nonetheless..
It can be enlightening perhaps even validating to some extent. Where do you watch "Ozark" Is it a netflix series?
I was watching the newer one called "Stay Sweet" abou the psychopathic led FLDS (fundamentalist cult based originally in Utah) The original pervert and sociopath called "Rulon Jeffs" and his son followed in his footsteps named Warren Jeffs. It is fascinating to hear the interviews from the women who escaped and spoke out about their experiences, although it can be a tad triggery, depending on what your background was. So just a heads up folks watch with caution. It is well done the series, and seems to show the women away from the cult and they appear healthy and their thinking and outlook seem better than being in that fog they were in, during the interviews.
This is a Netflix I believe, just came out this month in fact.
I am the adult child of a sociopathic (covert mother) who is still alive and running rather low on her supply. I am very LC with her. And yet I cannot believe just how much I feel I have in common with those women. When I first watched it I didnt think I would share similar abuse outcomes...but the way the abuses cause the CPTSD , it seems more relatable than I had originally thought it would be. One piece of hope is although the did not catch "Rulon" there was testimony and a few convictions in the courts with the son, Warren. A good sign indeed.
#8
Wow thanks for sharing that article. Finally they are taking us seriously, especiually a publication like that! Mine is a  covert narcissistic sociopath. Try convincing ANYone in her (or mine for that matter's) circle/s and people will immediately wonder about you because mine too actually collected memorabilia about Mother Theresa and the 'virgin Mary" sort of crafting her persona out of these women. She had everyone in her life pretty solidly thinking she was a living saint. Yet the farthest thing from it in reality. Ugh and imagine being targeted and or scapegoated. Its a freaky experience I think that is called cognitive dissonance. It messes your head up for sure.
Even I bought it as a developing young child and adult. But since being a grown adult I am chocked at how much of a lie her entire life and personality really is, and was.
#9
Hi Kizzie, I know this isnt new (and Im glad in fact - because  that means the humdinger was dealt with!) so the trolling NPDs that wind up in a NPD survivor healing space, they know no boundaries and limits do they? Sorry you had to deal with it and glad you could not let it get under your skin too much. You wrote: "The good news is I was not triggered into a BIG EF per se, just into anger and memories of how impossible NPD behaviour is to deal with, why it is so traumatizing and why I will never put myself in the position ever again of having to deal regularly with anyone who has NPD.  Not a bad reminder but it also sparks a forlorn wish that NPD were not as prevalent as it seems to be to me. " Does EF mean Emotional Fog / Fugue? I never came across that one yet...
But more importantly, so glad you were able to experience it without it troubling you much. How are you able to do that? Just curious how you develop that particular strength. And Thanks!
#10
 :wave: Hi Marcus. Its working properly, yes. Hope you find support  :)
#11
Hi Hopeful99,
Just want to send a hello and welcome. I am starting to explore intergenerational trauma as well. Glad you posted your intro. Look forward to supporting your journey :heythere: Kraggy
#12
 :wave: Hi LR, thanks for posting your intro, its gouda to meet you  :sunny: bummer,  cannot find a cheese to meet that silly tag line ;) Anyway on a side note, I have an eerily similar background the functional father, and finally coming to grips with an abusive older sib :/ and a deeply narcissistic sociopath NM (when I discovered she actually seems to  enjoy torturing certain members of the family) was when it occurred to me that it can have deep lasting effects on a person not so easy to 'shake'. Glad you found 'crappy childhood fairy', she seems really knowledgeable from a been -there standpoint. its interesting how many experts have turned to youtube to discuss this. Sometimes it can be overwhelming trying to sort thru them all! Glad to meet you :) :disappear:
#13
Religious/Cult Abuse / Re: Cult survivor
June 14, 2022, 09:11:39 PM
Hi Cult survivor, sorry to hear what you went through, but I hope you found refuge in your new situation. I had a somewhat similar story, with a weakened father that could not stand up for me. (He was in a cult of basically a 'one woman show' I like to call it.)  I am working on forgiving him for that weakness, as I consider it may have been terrifying to stand up to her , too. I do hope you are in a good place today.
#14
Recovery Journals / Re: Sage's Journal
June 08, 2022, 03:54:11 PM
Hi Sage, I was just following up about how it went with the therapist who understands "The Body Keeps the Score" it is excellent and I actually took a course with the author over the winter, Author has alot of experience and its the one book that paves the way for CPTSD sufferers and its breakthrough for understanding this. Anyway I just wanted you to know you are rooted for and I hope its going well. Kraggy