Before I begin, let me please say that putting my experiences down in writing feels and sounds like a plea for sympathy. That fact may very well be my inner critic at work; however, rest assured I am going to elaborate somewhat here with the sole purpose of finding those of you out there who can perhaps relate or validate what I have been experiencing for more than 4 decades.
Following 8 major depressive episodes and 2 hospitalizations over 4 decades with symptoms (dissociation, emotional flashbacks, "switching" between my young inner "child" and present day aged person, derealization, depression, anxiety/terror attacks, chronic fight/flight mode), becoming worse with each passing year, I now know for certain that all previous diagnoses were inadequate/incorrect. "One off" diagnoses were addressed and not CPTSD overall due to lack of awareness on the part of "professionals" consulted.
PTSD has always been a term loosely used by doctors I've consulted however as we all know too well, there are major differences between PTSD and CPTSD.
I am now at a loss as to how to function at this point as I am no longer able to work or live on my own.
My biggest obstacle as I see it, is that part of my psyche that "switches" back to my younger damaged self, sometimes for weeks on end. My conscious mind goes completely offline to such a degree that I don't recognize myself in the mirror. How do I navigate this?
Following 8 major depressive episodes and 2 hospitalizations over 4 decades with symptoms (dissociation, emotional flashbacks, "switching" between my young inner "child" and present day aged person, derealization, depression, anxiety/terror attacks, chronic fight/flight mode), becoming worse with each passing year, I now know for certain that all previous diagnoses were inadequate/incorrect. "One off" diagnoses were addressed and not CPTSD overall due to lack of awareness on the part of "professionals" consulted.
PTSD has always been a term loosely used by doctors I've consulted however as we all know too well, there are major differences between PTSD and CPTSD.
I am now at a loss as to how to function at this point as I am no longer able to work or live on my own.
My biggest obstacle as I see it, is that part of my psyche that "switches" back to my younger damaged self, sometimes for weeks on end. My conscious mind goes completely offline to such a degree that I don't recognize myself in the mirror. How do I navigate this?