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Messages - Muds2000

#1
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Emotional numbing for me
November 02, 2015, 11:37:38 PM
Seeing a therapist for 2 months . Just diagnosed with Complex ptsd . Confused about emotional numbing ( avoidance ) . Only realized it's different / individual to each person . I'd like to share how this is for me and would welcome feedback on how this affects others . During the second week of sessions , my therapist asked me " What does love feel like ? " Completely stumped , I didn't know what the * she was on about . I never realized that with emotions there are feelings . It turns out I've blocked feelings since childhood . When I try to concentrate on " feeling " , the only thing I sense is my heart pumping . I shake , tremor and tremble , my fight or flight response . Turns out my brain kicks in , decides to sort out emotions  , without feelings , and does a god awful job of it . It cross's wires along the way . Any emotion sad , happy , scared makes me tremble . Severity of the tremble depends on the emotion . Before seeing the therapist I thought I was constantly depressed and paranoid , turns out not to be true . All bloody exhausting !!!!!FINALLY  , after quite a long time , I now know what's going on . A blessed relief . OK it's thrown up more than expected . But now I've a starting point .