Hi, I'm Cray, I guess I just outline it here and then talk elsewhere.
Here goes... I had CSA 6-17, by a man who was basically my uncle. During that time I also had a mentally and physically abusive step dad. I've also had several men take advantage of me since then.
During the CSA I was given alcohol and drugs. I now struggle with alcoholism and drug addiction. *I'm 4 months off alcohol*
My mom actually showed me a post about CPTSD yesterday, and I couldn't sleep lastnight ( cant remember dreams but wake up feeling devastated and crying) so I read up on it and stumbled upon this forum. I'm just looking for answers...I'm tired of struggling to the point I have to have a fit of rage to be able to cry afterwards to feel some semblance of normalcy. To get the roaring noise in my head to just simmer down for a brief moment of peace...
I apologize if this is just ramble. Just what's going through my head atm.
Here goes... I had CSA 6-17, by a man who was basically my uncle. During that time I also had a mentally and physically abusive step dad. I've also had several men take advantage of me since then.
During the CSA I was given alcohol and drugs. I now struggle with alcoholism and drug addiction. *I'm 4 months off alcohol*
My mom actually showed me a post about CPTSD yesterday, and I couldn't sleep lastnight ( cant remember dreams but wake up feeling devastated and crying) so I read up on it and stumbled upon this forum. I'm just looking for answers...I'm tired of struggling to the point I have to have a fit of rage to be able to cry afterwards to feel some semblance of normalcy. To get the roaring noise in my head to just simmer down for a brief moment of peace...
I apologize if this is just ramble. Just what's going through my head atm.