Life for me has been one crisis after another if feels like.
Adopted at 2
Raised by highly narcissistic mother who used shaming and gaslighting regularly. I became hyper sensitive to reading peoples moods.
Raped at 16
Attempted suicide
Sent to psych ward
Diagnosed with Depression - couldn't be honest about my mother and the emotional abused. Blamed myself for not being stronger.
To escape home moved North to be with a boyfriend. Married Divorced.
1st break down. landed in hospital for severe exhaustion and depression. Medicated. Embarrassed and withdrew for a stretch to get my head on straight again.
Moved cities.
Moved Countries.
Relationship issues.
Moved Back to my country.
Started heavily drinking.
Fell in love
Got pregnant.
moved to his Country.
HEART BREAK - he left before my son was born. severe trauma. Abandoned in foreign country. Last and a lone.
My parents wouldn't help me come home. "You made your bed, now lie in it" Felt Shame, felt like a failure, felt tremendous grief. for years.
Started path to self self healing. Learned better self esteem and confidence and even self love.
My father got ill
after 10 years finally given support to move back home.
Fell in love with a new man - on the surface everything seemed great.
not long into our relationship discovered his ex was psychotic. Set out to make our lives a living *. Serious Trauma. Almost lost everything after 4 years of family court / emotional strain of his kids emotional and behavioural problems.
Dad dying and needed to be put in a home
I had a nervous breakdown. Emotionally and mentally exhausted. Diagnosed again with Depression. Medicated.
Slow 6 month to a year climb back up to a good place.
Switched jobs (for like the 4th time in as many years)
They treat me and other workers terribly. Tried to use learned communication skills to stand up for myself and others. DOn't get anywhere. feel ignored, unvalued, and worthless.
Have a Panic attack at work. Have to get wheeled out by Ambulance EMBARRASSED AS *. Feel such shame and small again. Unable to shake it off.
Go on 2 weeks short term disability. Diagnosed with Panic and Anxiety plus still on antidepressants precipitated by work stress.
Trying to figure out what to do in my life to get a handle on the reoccurring traumas, dramas, and overwhelming feeling like a failure.
Adopted at 2
Raised by highly narcissistic mother who used shaming and gaslighting regularly. I became hyper sensitive to reading peoples moods.
Raped at 16
Attempted suicide
Sent to psych ward
Diagnosed with Depression - couldn't be honest about my mother and the emotional abused. Blamed myself for not being stronger.
To escape home moved North to be with a boyfriend. Married Divorced.
1st break down. landed in hospital for severe exhaustion and depression. Medicated. Embarrassed and withdrew for a stretch to get my head on straight again.
Moved cities.
Moved Countries.
Relationship issues.
Moved Back to my country.
Started heavily drinking.
Fell in love
Got pregnant.
moved to his Country.
HEART BREAK - he left before my son was born. severe trauma. Abandoned in foreign country. Last and a lone.
My parents wouldn't help me come home. "You made your bed, now lie in it" Felt Shame, felt like a failure, felt tremendous grief. for years.
Started path to self self healing. Learned better self esteem and confidence and even self love.
My father got ill
after 10 years finally given support to move back home.
Fell in love with a new man - on the surface everything seemed great.
not long into our relationship discovered his ex was psychotic. Set out to make our lives a living *. Serious Trauma. Almost lost everything after 4 years of family court / emotional strain of his kids emotional and behavioural problems.
Dad dying and needed to be put in a home
I had a nervous breakdown. Emotionally and mentally exhausted. Diagnosed again with Depression. Medicated.
Slow 6 month to a year climb back up to a good place.
Switched jobs (for like the 4th time in as many years)
They treat me and other workers terribly. Tried to use learned communication skills to stand up for myself and others. DOn't get anywhere. feel ignored, unvalued, and worthless.
Have a Panic attack at work. Have to get wheeled out by Ambulance EMBARRASSED AS *. Feel such shame and small again. Unable to shake it off.
Go on 2 weeks short term disability. Diagnosed with Panic and Anxiety plus still on antidepressants precipitated by work stress.
Trying to figure out what to do in my life to get a handle on the reoccurring traumas, dramas, and overwhelming feeling like a failure.