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My name is Amber, I am 38 years old, living in San Diego and have two kids. Makaylah 7, and Devin 14. I left my boyfriemd of 10 years because he was very controlling, verbally abusive and physically abusive. I have attempted to leave him several times but he always managed to get me back. I was always afraid of what he would do if i were to leave. He had no boundries. He got me fired from work because he would call my co workers, he would harass my family members, break my phones, tell me what to wear, moniter my online school and got me kicked out of school. He would verbally abuse me, tell me what to wear where to go, he would slap me in my sleep, poor water on me in my sleep. Keep me and my daughter awake all night. I couldnt take it anymore and left to a domestic violence shelter. When i left there i went out with horrible people, started using drugs, prostituting, and my daughter and son are ataying with my mom. I am homeless sometimes i stay with a boyfriend who sells drugs, and sometimes i go back to prostitution. Ive been arrested twice for shiplifting and i am so lost i dont know what to do.  I am severly depressed i cant even handle the simplist task. I feel guilt and shame and i miss my kids. The court hasnt taken them, i let them stay at my moms until i become well. I feel like its hopess and i used to work at a great job, had a degree, car apt. And just like that this man took it away. He still to this day harrasses me any way he can. I cant live at home until im better. Im so scared ill never have the strength to get my life together.