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Welcome 

Hi
Welcome!

You are so impressive 

Welcome bookworm 

Hello 
Welcome. Just wanted you to know I read your post and your story is heartbraking.

http://did-research.org/origin/structural_dissociation/secondary.html
This one I though explained it very good.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/16172081/
If you search on Google for structual dissosiation. You find some pictures that explain it as well.

In the theory of structural dissociation of the personality they talk about ANPs (apparently normal personality) and EPs (emotional parts). A person with PTSD will have one ANP and one EP (the trauma). A person with complex PTDS wil have one ANP and many EP. In DID you have both more than one ANP and many EP.
I have only one ANP that handle everyday life and manage the rest of my parts. But i also have problems with mapping the EP and understand them.

I`m starting to do it, and have found some, but are finding it very hard.
How did you guys start? What kind of techniques did you use?   

I don`t know much about your life situation. It sounds very of putting to have to look for work everyday. I`m not sure if my way of think is for you or would just make things worse. But this is what I do. 

I spin it forward on the idea when the flashback happens. I take it to a place where its to off to believe and funny. Like what is everything that would have to happen before you actually get there. How of would you have to behave? How would youre life be? What bridge would you choose to live under? How would you make your house out of cardboard and things you found? Where would you go for food and shelter? What would you write on your sign when you beg for money? Would you draw something? Do a funny little dance?

I have a similar flashbacks where I get a feeling that I`m doomed to failure, insanity and living on the edge of society. Living in poverty, going into a long-time psyc institution, drug abuse, losing family and friends and so on. This goes on even when I`m at work a lot. I look at my colleges and patients and I have more in common with my patients that with the people I work with. It triggers me, but it also make me more compassionate and good at my job.

Thank you for youre reply. It`s not that way I experience I think.

I Talk to myself with you and I in my head. I have never lost time during dissociating. I feel like I have a lot of internal conflict with strong emotions and a very bad self image. I do feel like there is so many parts competing in my mind about my self image in a way. That I`m always there while emotions come up trying to tell stuff. Not like voices just changes in thinking and a lot of doubt. 

I have been told I have secondary dissociation with multiple emotional parts. I have become very unsure is I have DID, and would like how you guys knew you had it? 

Your story really moved me. I`m so sad you was born into that!

I use the one where I say the date, the place, what building, what rom and in what chair im sitting. And then I describe 3 different objects I see, how they would feel. It it don`t work the first time, I do it again.

I have also tried an exercise where you go to an armor shop. It`s a shop where you can by anything you want that can protect you from anything. You will have to describe any piece of armor you buy. Like I`m putting on this glove in black smooth leather that protects me from "my mothers idea that....", my families belifes that I I`m a insane etc.

Thank you Kizzi  That last link made me very emotional, I had to cry a little bit. Truly inspirational. I`m going to my best.

I`ll read the other post to It`s grate to know that someone else have broken the circle. I never really thought I would get children because I was so scared of repeating it. My wife is grate, intelligent and have an amazing family. I know she would leave me and take good care of them If I failed. That is a big comfort as well! My therapist also have fate that I can brake it, but he always tell me I should not be to pliable either.